Be A Man, MAN!

Here’s a reminder to the guys out there, step up and be a man, MAN! Women aren’t very attracted to the emo, shiny, Twilight, vampire, boys who chase after them. They want MEN! They want guys who acts like a man, treats situations like a man, is decisive like a man, and who isn’t sharing their cosmetics! So, put down the glitter and makeup, stow the fragrances aside and MAN UP!

This is often easier to say than do, we all forget this little fact. I forgot about acting as a man in a recent situation when my friend, @aussieinthecity, reminded me to man up. It’s not that I don’t act like a guy, or act manly, but when it comes to dating I find myself making some very non-man like decisions. I become too afraid of saying something wrong, or acting like an asshole. Instead of acting, I begin to over think, and every decision becomes another question. It would seem as if someone else had taken my balls and placed them on a mantle for me to stare at.

The solution to acting as a guy isn’t by waking up and making sure your genitalia is screwed on in place. Nor is it as simple as throwing on some Old Spice and smelling like a man. Being a man means acting like one, demonstrating some very specific traits that are considered male. Some of the traits are no-brainers, however some are not.

Lets begin with the distinctive male trait, and that’s being decisive. This applies to both what we say and what we do. Men do not mince their words, they speak directly, honestly and are forthcoming. Being decisive doesn’t mean a man is always right, mistakes will be made, but even if a decision is wrong or unknown, a man is able to say, “I don’t know” or “I’m sorry!” This doesn’t mean being a dictator or a totalitarian, this means when you consider going out on a date, you have in mind days and times and locations that may seem appropriate. It means, after buying drinks at the bar, you’re not hesitating to pay for them. It means when you say, “I like you,” you’re not saying, “I kinda think that you’re maybe attractive.” Be decisive, make up your mind.

Being decisive doesn’t stop when it comes to foreplay. It does stop when ti comes to teasing. Teasing a woman doesn’t seem to be a male trait. I’ve always thought this was gender neutral, that both men and women can tease each other, but I’ve been proven wrong of late. Women can tease, men lead on. Men don’t say something like, “Guess what I’m wearing,” we would say “in my underwear thinking about you.” When we say we’re interested in a woman, there isn’t a dance, only upfront. Obviously when you’re beginning a date you can’t say that. However, showing a woman you’re interested means touching her, such as placing your hand on a woman’s leg if your sitting, or on her arm. This is meant to last for a moment and meant to make a point. In this way, you’re being direct about your intentions. You’re saying, “I’m interested.”

To the Twilight-vampire-effeminate men, put the damn make up, glitter and perfume down! There’s nothing wrong with being concerned about your looks, but there’s a level where enough is enough. Wear an accessory or two, dress neatly and take care of your looks, but don’t tween your eyebrows or put foundation on your skin. Cologne is okay, but don’t bathe yourself in it, and stop tanning yourselves! Spend that time in a tanning bed, at the gym!

Contrary to popular belief, acting “manly” doesn’t mean you can’t have a sensitive side. Being a man means you can be sensitive, and caring. There’s a reason the word “gentle” appears in “gentleman.” Showing emotion, or having deep conversations isn’t a bad thing. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, there are appropriate times and places. However it’s not okay to cry and break down at a moments notice, or while watching the Notebook.

Lastly, every guy intuitively knows how to act as a man, even if we weren’t taught. It’s coded in our actions, and the way we instinctually react to the same or similar things. As a man, you should embrace those instincts, rather than thinking, you should be doing. A man acts on his impulses. If you’re dating someone and want to kiss her, kiss her. If you don’t want to see her anymore, tell her. Follow your gut, just be respectful, and honest. Following your instincts as a man doesn’t give you a license to be a jerk.

Photo By Truus, Bob & Jan of Holland