About a month ago, I asked women for tips on how we can perform better when it comes to oral sex. Between asking some of my dear friends to some of the reader responses, I have five common tips on ways we man can make the experience more enjoyable. Guys, pay attention and take notes, the better you please her orally, the more she will love you!

1. Take your time – oral sex isn’t something that should be done quickly, instead we should take our time. She’s not going anywhere, and we have no need to rush.
2. Be gentle! – All of the responses I’ve received reminds us men to be gentle! These are her sensitive parts, we have no need to apply a lot of pressure! Fellow Blogger, @PowederRoomTalk reminds us: “Just like men enjoy rough sex but when it comes to their penises they prefer a woman takes it easy down there, well so do we.”
3. Don’t act like it’s a chore! – This is a direct quote from @EssentialsToday! Guys lets not be dicks about this here. We don’t want her to act like it’s a chore, lets do the same.
4. The Clitoris Is Important – From the comments I’ve received, we do a poor job in paying attention to the clitoris during oral sex. The most stimulation you can give it, the better it is. Remember rule 1 and 2 though, be gentle and take your time!
5. Toys, Fingers Can Be Enhancements – @PowderRoomTalk was one of the few women who made it known that fingers and toys can provide an extra level of excitement. While some women may prefer tongue opposed to fingers, “use your fingers in a gentle way yet penetrate us deep with them you can stimulate our G-spot and your tongue can stimulate our clit (double pleasure!)” I would recommend finding what your partner likes and try something new.

Hopefully these tips can help you please your woman orally. A task we should be very willing to undertake!

Over the next two weeks I’m asking women how we can make oral sex better for you, whether we’re performing it on you, or you on us. I’ve created a form to collect as many suggestions, tips, and tricks to oral sex. Don’t be afraid to provide basic ideas – imagine all of men don’t have a clue. In two weeks I’ll release two posts detailing common thoughts and some of the examples provided. I promise anything shared will not be used maliciously or without your consent (i.e. not giving away e-mail addresses, names or selling any of this information.)

Visit the form by going to bit.ly/OralSurvey

I’ve noted how much guys love oral sex, and the reasons why. There’s nothing like it. We do take it to extremes, expecting things that would only happen in porn or in very rare cases. We have freaky imaginations and watching the amount of porn we do doesn’t help break any of these expectations. That being said, we need to dial down our expectations when it comes to oral sex. Here’s some things I’ve learned to expect.

First, never expect that a woman is going to really love giving head. Some do, some don’t; it’s pretty much a crap shoot if your girl truly loves it. I assume most women perform the act because they know it turns us on. Some women see this as a part of foreplay, which means that she has a time limit as to how long she’s going to stay down on you. This also means don’t expect women are going to swallow, while she may enjoy orally servicing you, the act of swallowing seamen is less likely to happen.

Next, we men should expect to return the favor. Maybe not the same night but in the near future. Most women who give, want. Regardless of how much we may hate or fear it, it’s the right thing to do. Don’t be a selfish jackass!

While men watch a lot of porn, what happens in porn doesn’t always happen in real life. I can’t think of a person who enjoys having something vigorously slammed into their throat repeatedly. Let alone, turning blue in the face because of it. Also don’t expect her to enjoy your seamen on her. These should be things discussed ahead of time or if told during the moment, otherwise don’t expect rough oral sex.

Finally do not expect it all of the time. Most women aren’t fond of always having to perform. Oral sex is clearly an act to please us men, it’s selfish on our part but selfless on theirs. Regardless of how much we may love it, I’m sure you can go without needing it every day!

(Image Credit: defekto on Flickr)

The top reason we we fear providing oral sex is the most reasonable, poor hygiene. There are plenty of women who smell foul around her female parts (hell there’s plenty of men who do as well.) Like anyone, it’s a complete turn off when we smell something foul, even more so for extended periods of time. The initial fear is she may stink and even the bravest of men many not confront that fear. The second fear about female hygiene (or lack there of) is “funk spunk” that may be due to dietary, biological, or cosmic reasons. Plenty of men have taken the plunge into oral sex only to realize the scent of her excitement is more akin to rotten eggs. It’s a scent that takes just about a day to remove from one’s mouth and not a pleasant experience at all.

It seems shaving/waxing/trimming has become the standard in female sexual hygiene, but men fear the dreaded “underbrush!” We hate going down on hairy women, it’s like putting your tongue to a person’s afro. It’s not pleasing at all and someone ends up in your eye. Every guy whose tried to perform oral sex has come across wild underbrush. Some men may enjoy it but a majority of us don’t. Even though trimming and shaving has become common place for women (obvious from new women shaving/trimming products and commercials) past experiences and myths still haunt us.

If anyone is familiar with the term “red wings,” you know exactly where I’m heading with this next comment. There’s nothing scarier to a guy than not knowing what’s coming out. We guys dread tasting any left overs from when you excused yourself to the rest room or the chance obtaining our first red wing badge. This may sound unsanitary and it is. This may also sound impossible, but it does happen! Every guy knows another guy who has had one of these two experiences happen to him, even if they don’t admit to it. If your wondering how often this happens or if it really does occur, I can say from experience this phenomenon happens often enough to cause hesitation.

The last fear I’m going to point out is our fear of being clueless. Yes, we fear not knowing what to do with our tongue and not finding the hidden clitoris. It’s bad enough we have some insecurities of pleasing you sexually, if we fail orally there is no hope. Our resources here are limited, there isn’t an oral sex class for men, if there was I’m quite sure that a lot of men would not appear in a group, thus continuing the vicious cycle. We don’t want to admit that we haven’t a clue what we’re doing. So often women aren’t expecting oral sex and don’t bother to teach a guy how to do it properly. To compensate we substitute oral sex with fingering, in our minds we’ve done our job. In many women’s minds they have to settle.

While some of these fears may seem silly, it is what holds us back in performing oral sex. There is some hope, and it’s from porn. One trend I’ve noticed over the years is more men performing oral sex. Don’t underestimate this as porn is a valuable sexual teaching tool for men! For a more direct approach, men are willing to try anything with the right girl, but don’t force the issue. You hate it when we force the topic of blow jobs. Comfort us, teach us, and if possible make it rewarding for us as well!

(Image Credit: fmgbain on Flickr)

My female friends can’t quite understand why men love oral sex, even though some of them are more than willing to oblige. A few believe that it’s a male fantasy we want played out because we’ve watched way too much porn; some others believe it’s a part of foreplay and crucial to the entire sexual process; the rest think we’re being greedy. While each of these answers have some truth to them, it’s actually simpler than that; it’s a different feeling.

To quickly go over your High School sex-ed class, women and men are biologically built differently. Women can be aroused many different ways and have more than one type of orgasm. Men have slightly less options. While there are many ways to arouse us, we generally have an orgasm, not multiple. Oral sex is a very different feeling than “traditional” sex, tongue just feels different and can be used in a very different manner. While we will still reach the same type of orgasm, it’s more memorable.

On the subconscious level, some men love oral sex as a way to reassert their power or dominance. Put simply it makes us feel “like a man” the same as steak and football. Oral sex is clearly a submissive sexual act, it’s scripted in our language, but also in our DNA. There is something about being reassured you’re a guy, a reassurance that cannot be completely filled by steak, mashed potatoes and touchdown celebrations alone. Sexually, oral sex is a different sort of assurance, an assurance that we crave (and need.)

(Image Credit: fangleman on Flickr)