The OkCupid App, is free and available for the iPhone and iPod Touch. It’s a cool app that keeps you up to date on your OkCupid dating world and works much like the website. It allows you to keep up with your current matches and Quivers, find new matches, favorite and rate profiles, and send and receive messages. Essentially it is OkCupid on the go. There were still a few bugs left with the process.

One bug that disturbed me was my match preferences weren’t synched with those on the website on the first run. This may be due to the limits of match searching on the app. OkCupid’s app match search is limited, you cannot choose certain aspects such as sign, ethnicity, or height. This doesn’t allow me to narrow the searches to any of my specific tastes. Another bug is a crash, the app automatically closes when it finds a profile that no longer exists on the website. If you mispel a profile name, especially after searching for it, it will automatically close. Beta features, such as Icebreakers and Buzz, aren’t integrated into the app either, currently the only feature that works is Quiver. Quiver are three choices OkCupid provides for you, the problem is, after viewing them for the first time, you cannot return to your quivers. An additional annoyance of the app is it’s inability to perform in landscape mode. This isn’t a deal breaker, but would have been a great additional polish touch.

Overall, the OkCupid App is a very good app that can lend itself to further mobile based dating. It’s a good way to keep up with your current dating picks, especially while on the go. I highly recommend the app, and think you should try it out for yourself!

The one frustrating aspect of online dating is, the lack of responses. Often I would think of clever and unique things to say to a woman, but would never receive a response. It would become frustrating, especially after taking my time to create a properly crafted message. Even with the help of a dating coach, who crafts really elegant e-mails for me, I’m still at a loss. After targeting different women, tweaking my profile, I’m still laying a fat zero in the response department.

It frustrates me, after sending a handful of messages, I wouldn’t receive a response. I took a moment to look at the stats of my OkCupid account. I realized there was a huge disparity in the amount of profiles I’ve quick matched or noted (780) and the amount of messages I’ve sent (140). Not only am I not sending out enough messages, I’m not practicing the method of sending a message.

When I went on three continuous speed dating sessions, I learned a lot about myself. I learned how to better present myself, how to gain the attention of a woman in 3 minutes, and how to handle myself in a crowd. When I went out wearing accessories and new clothing, I learned what worked well, what didn’t work well, and what I would need to improve upon to gain the attention of the women I sought. Now with online dating, by using the continued examples from my dating coach, I need to learn and practice how to introduce myself to women on online dating websites.

At first, the task was daunting, how can I re-create some of the great e-mail’s Laurie has crafted for me? I didn’t know. After the first 10, they seemed to take forever to write. Some were taking up to an hour to write. By message eleven I was in a groove, scanning for important information in a profile, crafting a message together and spitting it out. I even borrowed a few catch phrases from previous messages. The process has become easier, and I’m more comfortable with the process of sending a message to a woman. It now clicks in my mind and doesn’t very little time to accomplish.

When dating, there’s many of things guys need to learn, practice and execute. Such as approaching women in public, or how to act on a first date. It requires plenty of practice, and while you may never become an expert, you will become comfortable enough with the process that it will feel natural. Rejection will happen, but, in my case, if I’m only approaching a fraction of the women I’m looking at, I’m setting myself to be rejected more than I am to be accepted.

Guys who meet tons women are often go out often, introduce themselves to women often, and get shot down, often. When they go out, they get 10 numbers, call each one, and maybe one girl would go out with them. They’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. Most importantly, they’ve become comfortable with the process. It doesn’t take wearing silly hats or one liners to meet great women, it takes confidence. Confidence comes when your comfortable in a situation that you can handle it. Comfortability comes with practice.

The lesson here, practice, practice, practice.

Image Source: Andrea Volpini on Flickr

There are days that life delivers very odd mixed messages. At times There’s are the moments life reminds me that I’m doing a great job! Success in dating, and meeting new and interesting women all seem to be paired with the reminder that I’m single and maintain the consistent struggles to get replies to sent messages on dating websites.

Today is no exception. This morning I was greeting with two very different, and distinct messages. The first was a great message! DateDaily.com featured my blog on their website today. I really liked the small little review that ended with, “It’s a wonder this guy doesn’t have a woman warming his bed at night.” That made me blush! I was shocked to be found “verbally charming,” although, I find my writing can be horrendous and requires improvement. Regardless, this was today’s good message!

Logging onto my OkCupid account, another potential good sign appeared! I had a message waiting for me! The last OkCupid message I received was from a guy who wanted to hook me up with his girlfriends because they loved “black men.” Today’s new message of fun was quite the opposite. It was from an Icebreaker match, a feature on OkCupid where they scour the website and find two profiles that seem to be like matches. OkCupid tells you they’ve found a potential match and you get to write a message to this match. There’s a catch, you never see their profile until they respond to your message. So far I haven’t had much luck with the feature, but it doesn’t mean I should not continue to use it.

This good message was really a bad message in disguise. The message I received was a one-liner that simply said, “NIGGER DO NOT CONTACT ME” I’m never shocked by racism, it’s a fact of life, such as the sky is blue and the sun is hot. Racism sucks, but it happens. I’m always shocked by when and how it appears in my life. It usually has the tendency to blindside me, catching me when I’m the least prepared. It’s like a boxer who gets hit by a left uppercut he never expects, it leaves him somewhat groggy during the match. After taking a look at this person’s profile, I would have never sent her a message if I had come across it normally. At the bottom of several paragraphs explaining the reasons she doesn’t date black men (but has black friends) was a message in red that stated “This person doesn’t match your criteria.” Obviously there’s a glitch in the IceBreaker feature. The fact this person decided to send me a message, that was sent to her without my knowledge is beyond by comprehension. Usually when I receive a message from someone I don’t find attractive, I don’t respond (maybe I should nicely?)

I didn’t know what to do, hours later I’m still somewhat numb. A part of me wants to laugh, another part wants me to yell. I’m still in a hazy fog of “damn, what just happened?” I’m the reason today has been somewhat of a blur. I know I tweeted my life’s irony this morning, and suddenly a flood of support poured my way. This was life providing another good sign, reminding me that I had people cheering for me on the sidelines. For that, I want to say thank you my fellow readers, tweeple, and especially @thread (who I write articles for), @thatgirlallison, @DeeZeeGirl, @Whatdusay, @ChelseyDC, @tinagirl207, @CatchUNextTues, @eFlirtExpert, @keens, @girltrueheart, @PowderRoomTalk, @DateDaily, @elle_dubya, @URWingman & @OkCupid.

Yes, I’m thanking OkCupid, who’s new beta feature put me in the precarious position to begin with. Software is software and they don’t have control of any cretins. They did ask me for the person’s name and hours later the profile disappeared from the website. They took the situation serious enough to investigate and resolve it! That did make me smile.

I just hope the next message on OkCupid is from someone who wants to go on a date with me (or that I’ve, legitimately, won a million dollars!)

Image Credit: Paul Henman on Flickr

You lose points when when you’re late for a first date. During the date you’re responsible for making amends for being tardy. Squeak Law did not do this at all. This possible B-Lister (she looked cute in her photo’s, worked as a lawyer, and a strong independent woman) quickly tumbled to a C even before the date began. She was 20 minutes late. She did prevent a walk out when she texted an apology and that she was her way, 13 minutes past the scheduled dating time. When the postponed date began, she didn’t offer any significant reason for being late. She didn’t mention it until I asked her “so how was your day?” and received a “busy and that’s why I’m late,” response. I should have gotten a story, something exciting (like the mafia was holding her hostage but only released her because she was going out with me), something that would have given me some indication of her character. I got nothin’.

Squeak Law was D.O.A. and the opposite of my first date this week. She was short (which I do not penalize), she had a great body, an average face, not so attractive hair style, and her voice squeaked. Yes, squeaked, I can’t quite explain it but it did. Her voice had some rasp in it, but would peak out because of her West Indian accent. It took some adjusting, but I wanted to run away 10 minutes into the date. Clearly she was dropping off of my dateable list and could salvage everything with a breath of personality.

She was dry, intelligent and inquisitive, but really didn’t offer much about herself which I found odd. Some of her answers to questions were one word answers, I felt I was having to carry more of the conversation than her, it didn’t flow entirely. Knowing there wouldn’t be a second date I asked the loaded “so why are you single?” question, hoping to get some response out of her. I got a quick, one word answer. I felt it took her a while to open up and would have wished for more story telling on her part, instead of her inquisitive lawyer like nature.

I’m sure she’s a solid B or C on someone else’s list, but not mine. I think she may do better with someone in her own profession or cultural background.

(Image Credit: antjeverena on Flickr)

Hurry! The contest ends soon! All you do is click, choose, then vote!

The past week I’ve been on OkCupid searching for potential dates. While I’ve come across plenty of great profiles enticing me to initiate contact and horrible profiles I’ve had to pass on. When I began online dating many years ago, much of the profile creating advice was geared towards men, plenty of guys thought a shirtless picture and sparse description would woo the masses. It doesn’t. Over time the advice has been more even handed, however, women still need plenty of help here. In searching for potential dates, I’ve found several irritating trends. I’ve categorized them into four segments: profiles with not enough information, profiles with too much information, profiles with needless information and the limited profile.

Many profiles include several pictures and sentence length answers to questions. In several cases, these short answers are very appropriate (i.e. your job, six things you can’t live without.) These profiles won’t get my attention. I understand the logic here, several cute pictures will get a lot of notice from many men. It’s a formula that works, but expect your messages to be “You’re cute!” or “Hi! Lets meet!” There’s nothing but pictures for me to respond to. Do yourself a favor and in areas that provide more detail, provide it. Two short paragraphs is more than enough information.

Your dating profile isn’t a novel. I will not read every detail. Leave some information for the first date. Your dating profile should be cliff notes that make you stand out. Don’t list out every musical artist or book you’ve read, Make it interesting. If you love hip-hop say something like “I grew up listening to Run D.M.C. and loved hip-hop ever since.” Here you’ve provided key details about yourself in a short concise manner. Also don’t be repetitive, you may really enjoy knitting but mention your passion for it once or twice.

I used to believe including “I’m not very good at describing myself” or “I don’t know what to say but here it goes” was appropriate profile information. It isn’t. It’s annoying. I hate this! Please, I beg you to stop! This is needless information, who cares if you’re bad at writing profiles, so is everyone else! I had to hire someone to help me with mine! Get over it! Instead of saying that you’re bad at writing profiles talk about things you’re actually bad at, like hopscotch, marbles, or being an astronaut.

The profile I hate the most are the limited profiles. These are really well written profiles with 1 picture or a profile with 10 pictures with one word answers to questions. I’ve come across many of these and tend to ignore them. I’m seeking the full package here, not just looks or words. Find a balance, give me enough information to initiate contact.

My last tip has to deal with profile pictures. I understand not everyone is photo friendly, but please cut down the amount of photo’s of your friends. I’m not trying to date them, I’m trying to date you. If you have 5 photo’s all 5 shouldn’t include your friends. If you include a picture of you and your friends, clearly indicate where you are in the photo. Your photo’s shouldn’t all be headshots either. I would like to know the full package. Which means several full figured shots are very helpful. In order to make a decision, we need to see everything (though with your clothing on!)

(Image Credit: icanhascheezburger.com)