Posts Tagged Dating Preferences

Why Do Men In Their 40s Think I’m Old?

Before starting this blog, Simone Grant was my favorite female blogger. Her candor, humor, and honesty makes her a very interesting read and one of the staples in the dating community. Simone Grant is a writer/blogger who lives in New York City.  She blogs daily at Sex, Lies and Dating in the City.

One of my new favorite reads is More Magazine.  Although, I’m officially out of their target demographic, at 39 I’m not quite “old enough” (they “celebrate women 40+”), hehe.

The truth is that as much as I like some of the other mags for women, I feel left out. So many of the articles in other mags are obviously written by and for women in their 20s/early 30s.  And the differences in our life experiences is rather glaring, at times.

So today I was taking a break and reading More and came across this.  A question we’ve pondered here, on the blog, many times:  Why do men in their 40s think I’m old? Although I think the WHY is kind of obvious - because they can. I don’t love the advice given, nor do I hate it.  As a woman who lives with this issue I constantly have to remind myself that not ALL men in their 40s think I’m old.  Only some.  And while I have widened my search (I’ve always dated older and am now trying to convince myself to be open to younger) I haven’t given up on those guys in their 40s either.

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What Is Settling?

Women often say they do not want to settle, meaning dating someone outside of their preferences. This is used as a way to maintain their stringent requirements for the men they date. Settling isn’t dating someone 5’6” when you normally like men who are over 5’7” or dating someone outside of your preferred ethnicities. I believe settling is dating someone you completely do not like. It is akin to owning a cat when you have cat allergies; it’s when you are in an unhappy relationship that is detrimental to your personal well being. Read the rest of this entry »

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When You Turned Down More

woman-rejects Before reading this post, read “When Did Women Start Accepting Less?” by Moxie. This is a great question and the answer is very complex. It begins with the fact that women began accepting less by turning down more! At some point, a change in the female dating mindset warped their procedures for finding the right guy. It’s a reason “The Game” was birthed, the reason many men feel its hard to attract women, and the reason dating is such a mine field. Read the rest of this entry »

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Dating and Racism

"Let's See What We've Captured"

Recently, I described being turned down for a date because of my ethnicity. I wasn’t the first time I was turned down due to the color of my skin, and it won’t be the last. I’m always surprised by racism in the dating scene, you would think singles would find better reasons to turn down potential matches rather than a person’s skin color. A part of this, I’m sure, is due to narrow dating preferences, but there is a difference between a preference and denying a person because of their race. Read the rest of this entry »

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Frustrated by Unrealistic Preferences

Over the weekend I had the “why are you single?” conversation with a female friend quickly turning into a conversation of dating preferences. I believe women’s preferences are more like requirements, and are to narrowly defined and unrealistic, a major frustration of mine in the dating battlefield. I’ve found most of my friends who end up in happy long term relationships are with people who did match all of their preferences. Maybe the person was shorter, a different ethnicity, or had a different job. My friend countered by saying she doesn’t want to compromise or settle. I told her it’s not settling if you find someone who’s a good match for you.

Men have dating preferences but they tend to be very flexible. An example would be my height requirement, I prefer tall women, since I’m tall myself (6’2”), but it’s not a requirement. If I met someone attractive but was 5’2”, I would consider dating her. Many of the women I know aren’t as flexible in their dating preferences, they are too many requirements. It feels as if your battling against a list of “and’s” and deemed dateable only if you match a narrow set of height, weight, eye color, type of job, skin color, and hair type requirements.

Settling is when you have nothing in common with the person your dating and your with them because you feel you cannot do better. Not meeting the requirements on a checklist is more like buying software for my computer, not dating. Most of my frustration stems from this issue when dating. Am I the only one who’s been frustrated by these unrealistic requirements?

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