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Dating Frustrations

Dating

Meeting Her On The Subway

A woman walking down a subway tunnel to a train

A few months ago, I wrote about an experience of picking up a woman while on the train. I never talked about what happened afterwards, and if I was successful. Not to spoil the post, but my experience ends in frustration, although it was a very positive experience. Train Woman was cool, we had matching attitudes and sarcasm to bounce jokes off of each other, and remain playful, and flirtatious. Approaching her on the train, seemed to add to the playful, witty nature of our banter. It showed that I’m bold and decisive with my actions.

The first date went well, it started off as drinks, but turned into a dinner. Things were going so well, that it lasted for four hours, opposed to just one. This was a good sign, one that led to a second date. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Don’t Tell Me NOT To Be Frustrated By Dating

Frustrated Black Man

It’s hard, not to be frustrated by things that happen in the typical dating life. At times, the decisions a person makes, or the events that occur don’t have any rhyme or reason. What one person sees as a valuable quality, someone else will see it as a fault. What some people see as attractive, other’s do not. Predicting what a person will say, or do is hard, and damn near impossible. While it’s easy to read the unspoken signs of nature of their action, the only tried and true method to dating success are the guidelines presented by many successful daters. Even then, success isn’t guaranteed. One guideline is to remain optimistic. It’s hard to keep up a sense of optimism when the crazy, unknown happenings of another person’s preferences and wishes intersect with your own. Optimism often turns into confusion when you’re rejected because of a minor detail, or when someone don’t respond to your advances, or when your dating profile doesn’t work on certain sites. The reason there’s so many dating bloggers, websites, and articles on the subject, is because the process is frustrating. It’s akin to having to find a new job, applying to a graduate (or undergrad) program, or working on complicated taxes, the day before they are due; each one of the instances are their own special level of hell that’s missing from Dante’s Inferno.

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Dating

Don’t Blame Men For Your Flaws

Pointing the finger

I came across a new dating blog, with the idea that men don’t want to be friends with women. After reading the post, it sounded like a woman scorned; she was upset when men want to sleep with her and she doesn’t reciprocate, or when we think she’s romantically interested and we get upset when she doesn’t reciprocate. When I read these two scenarios, my only thought was “what is she doing wrong?” I’ve heard many, similar stories from women in the past. I believe this woman is acknowledging half-truths as excuses for covering her own flaws. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Dating Is Hot and Cold

Hot and cold faucet

No one ever says, dating very mercurial, especially in New York City. It’s always assumed. There are moments when dates appear out of the woodwork, other moments when buying a date from the most desperate people seems impossible. This causes much frustration. I’ve always assumed dating would be a consistent flow of dates on a weekly basis, but that’s never the case, especially with online dating. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Maybe It's Not Me

Angels vs devils

We all have our moments where we question our dating successes and failures. They are usually just that, a series of events that lead to some success or failure. While my dating life, overall, is a mixture of successes and failures, during my the periods where women weren’t responding to me, I began to ask, “what’s wrong with me?” By asking this question, I was ignoring the successes I’ve had, the lessons learned to build upon. Maybe the real answer to the question has nothing to do with me, but with women.

We all pass up opportunities, especially when it comes to dating. I’m not going to suggest that every woman I’ve dated has missed out on their best opportunity by by not seeking a relationship with me. That would be egotistical. I would be ignoring the flaws I have and would suggest that I’m the best choice for every woman in the world. It’s not the truth. There is a possibility that I’m not the best fit for the women I’ve dated in the past.

However, I do believe that women are often seeking cookie cutter men, instead of men right for them. There is a difference. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Frustrated By Women Who Only Date Older Men

An older man perusing a young woman

Aaliyah is right, “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number.” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the current cougar or a manther trends, what confuses me are the younger women who often seek older men. There are several attractive friends I have, who enjoy dating “Silver Foxes” or prefer to be the younger 20 something in a relationship. This is paired with the fact that “women mature faster than men”. Fast enough for there to be a 20 year age gap between the two? I think not.

I don’t understand this trend, and almost believe it’s an excuse for unsuccessful women dating in their own age group. I’m not going to complain about woman who’s dating significantly older man. I’m complaining about the women who only seek to date older men and use the maturity excuse as a crutch. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Stop Thinking So Much

The Thinking Man statueOne of my major problem of mine is thinking too much. I tend to overanalyze my dating situations to the point I think myself out of potential success. Some of this is natural; I work in an analytical field and often find myself analyzing complex problems and determining solutions. Often, I feel my work is a natural extension of who I am, I enjoy problem solving. These skills don’t translate well to the dating environment, even if you have some tools for success. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

What’s Wrong With Me?

A woman whose unattainable

“To be frank with you, I’m ridiculously surprised that your response rate has been so low.  Your cute, your profile is good…,” was the first few lines of Laurie’s response concerning my lack of success with OkCupid. Even with the increased message count, I wasn’t receiving many responses. I feel I’ve become the ultimate dating enigma.

I like OkCupid, but maybe the population on the website isn’t geared for me. Laurie suggested that I switch over to Plenty of Fish, or as I like to call it Plenty of Fail! I’m not a fan of their dating website, it’s horribly put together, ugly, and not ad deep as OkCupid. However my lack of major success on the website leaves me little alternatives. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Fall seven times. Stand up eight.

Man down and he can't get up

A Converse commercial with Dwyane Wade ends with the phrase “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.” The message, always get back up, regardless of how many times you fall down. This week was one of my worse weeks ever. I could have easily curled into the corner in the fetal position and cry; instead I decided to pull myself up from the floor and try again. My week could have been worse and while life has knocked me down, and I compounded the issues by making some mistakes, I’ve survived and still standing. Instead of moping, I’ve dusted myself off, turned these issues into learning lessons, got back up and tried again last night. It managed to be a successful evening; I may have fallen down, but I got right back up. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Poorly Handling Dating Frustrations

Yelling to let go of the rage

Last night turned from a potentially good night into a car wreak. I allowed myself to spiral down a the path of a frustrated, upset, single. We’ve all been there, when life kicks you down and deflates your attempts to date. When the strides to improve seems to unravel easily. Last night my greatest fear became a reality, and it set me back. I’m sure the three beers I drank further aided the poor frame of mind. If I were to rate how I handled my frustrations, it would rank as a C-. Here’s what happened.
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