Winking: Good for Women, Bad for Men
A while ago, I incorporated winking into my routine as a way to display interest in a woman. Cheesy, yes and I’m quite sure it never got me a date (that and the girls I winked to thought I had some nervous eye twitch.) On dating websites, winking is a completely different manner. Like in the real world it is aimed to indicate interest to the person your winking to. For men, winking is a bad thing, but for women it seems to be a good thing.
When a man winks at a woman, it’s seen as being lazy. Why not write a message? Why not say something a bit more? It deals with the fact men should initiate contact and put some effort behind this initiation. For women, they use winking as a way to initiate contact, as if to say “hey, send me a message.” Squeak Law started out as a wink, where I promptly sent her a message and we went on a date. While I didn’t know how to handle it, I figured her using the wink function was an attempt to see what sort of guy I am.
I’m not sure if this is a reliable online dating technique, but in general I see more profiles by women indicating winking is a bad thing. I don’t know many men who would consider an online wink a negative thing. If anything we would think this is a guaranteed connection. Women, you may want to send a wink to a guy who you really want to hear from and see how he responds. For us men, lets forget the feature even existed, just send a message. You’ll garner a lot more attention and respect that way!
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Winking online is a lot like the guy who stands across the room giving you all the signals he likes you, but never actually makes an attempt to talk to you or meet you.
It’s almost like the guy is saying *wink* “look at me, see I see you but I’m not actually interested enough to do anything about it. If you want me, come find me baby. Cuz I might think about you, maybe.”
And yes, we interpret online “winks” as lazy. We react to it just about as much as we do that guy at the bar that winks at us. Unless he looks like a huge catch, we’re not going to bother. Now if he makes an effort, buys us a drink or something, thats when we’ll start to take some notice.