Single City Guy

Since I’ve started as SCG, I’ve met a few women who have made me smile. Every time I receive a message from them, a bit of bliss flows through my body. These are usually the women who I end up getting to know on a personal level, and often cross the panes of anonymity to actual names. Recently I’ve been thinking about these handful of women, and realize that in my life, before this blog, there’s been several others. I’ve also realized I’ve never dated any of them, and even stopped the potential for such things.

Some of these women live close. Actually, they fall within my Chinese Bus rule. Other’s live a bit farther. Some are purely friends, other’s I could very well consider a lot more. The cross-section of those who make me smile and live in NYC are the fewest. One has turned into a great friend and taught me the “friends are never fucks, and fucks are never friends” rule. A rule which I think has hardened my possibilities of leaving the friend zone with women. Another, who I’ve considered a relationship with in the past, remains a friend mainly because I don’t think we’re compatible. The rest are a combination of missed opportunities, good friends, or have disappeared into the ether. In hindsight, these are the type of women I should have been after.

These women, who bring me little bits of bliss when they text, call, or just want to see me, should have been the women I’ve turned into relationships. They accept me for who I am, for all of my faults, flaws, and quirks. So why aren’t I dating them? It’s because I fell into many different traps, I set my requirements too high, but most importantly, I never noticed them until they were gone. I didn’t take the opportunities when they were presented to me and I let some other guy swoop them off their feet. I made the mistake, I let them go! I’m sure my dating life would be much different if I hadn’t let them run away (then again you wouldn’t be reading this).

The women who make me smiles are always, if not often, my A Listers. I value their friendship, but I don’t think I’ve ever told them what they mean to me. Even the ones who are far away. I truly value them, and in many cases, could see myself happily cuddled with them instead of running a singles blog. More often than not, these are the women who could have changed my life drastically, even if distance was the issue.

Today, one of these women asked me “why are you single?” I answered by stating I’ve missed many opportunities. In actuality, I’ve never told these special women what they mean to me. I’m too chicken shit to say, “I think you’re special,” and it comes out as “I think you’re awesome!” or “You’re a really great friend!”

I definitely need to grow a pair. If you have women like this in your life, you need to grow a pair as well and tell them the truth.

Image Source: Thomas Hawk on Flickr