The Guaranteed Miss
There’s a general rule to dating: if a person looks at you more than twice, they’re interested. For a period of time, all of my dating failures made me timid about approaching women at bars, clubs, or in general. I began to think in the terms of failures instead of potential. While out with friends, my timidness ran into someone who was very interested. Let’s call her Hot and Direct.
Hot and Direct kept glancing at me throughout the evening, she was with her group of friends, I was with mine and did not know how to approach her. I was scared. My friends also noticed her watching me and began to add some peer-pressure. Their ultimatum was, I introduce myself or they would do it for me. This was turning into a bad episode of 90210. With enough peer-pressure and courage, I approached Hot and Direct, breaking every “pickup” rule. I introduced myself name first, and began to roll from there. I’m sure for many guys, this would be a guaranteed success. There wouldn’t be any possible way I could mess this up. My readers, you don’t know me too well; I find new ways to turn opportunities into missed opportunities.
The first mistake I made was answering questions with questions. When I was asked how old I was, I asked “Well how old do you think I am?” I was trying to be playful, mysterious. I quickly found out this girl wasn’t in the mood to play those games. The “games” I’ve just finished learning from a certain book. I was able to redeem myself, first by apologizing and second by buying her a drink. This bought time to prove myself. The next few moments went extremely well, she was very direct with some of her questions: Was I straight? Was I single? If I’m big? I can handle woman whose very direct, if anything I prefer it. It felt comfortable answering each question honestly and directly without worrying about not being myself. I was comfortable.
I tend to be a very honest person and tend to be very blunt and direct. So in the line of questioning Hot and Direct was asking was easily answered and placed her more at ease. The tides turned on me. Hot and Direct pointed another woman in the room and said “She’s really beautiful! What do you think?” The woman was an attractive woman and I answered “She’s really cute!” Have you ever seen the expression of a golfer when he misses a putt two feet away from the hole? The expression of a wide receiver who drops a football when he’s wide open? A basketball player who misses a dunk? That expression was plastered all over my face. One of the most important rules about courtship is to not acknowledge other girls. When asked about another girl in the room, IGNORE them. This is a trap! One I fell right into.
Needless to say things went downhill from there. I tried to recover what ever momentum I had lost, but it wasn’t going to happen. The only Hot and Direct thing I would be dealing with that night would be the porn I would be watching later.
(Image Credit: OGA from Flickr)
Comments (4)
Trackbacks
Hey SCG, LOL thanks for all of the posts so far. Your an honest and straight forward guy who I respect and the women will definitely appreciate you as they find out more and follow your cool growing body of work. Stright forward is always the way to go. You did zero wrong and for her asking that so suddenly deserves a bitch slap even though we don’t and never would hit a girl…Hot and Direct girl is unfortunately severely insecure. Never hold back from being straight up!!. If a woman is in a nuclear bomb test phase mood within the first conversation be happy it blew up in her face, not yours. If she is testing you like that now and wondering how she stacks up among the local current bar patrons now think about what she will be asking you about down the road when her true self decides to poke out of her insecure hole from “Im a psycho” hell. You were honest, she asked and got her well deserved medicine. To bad it wasn’t in the form of an enema. Why did she ask? Why did she want to know what you thought of other chicks in 5 minutes flat? Yeah, if you would have lied and said nahhhh she’s ugly, I only see you, sure you might have had the opportunity to bang her perm straight or introduce her to the delicious flavor of your bed post but is that what we really want as good upstanding guys alllll the time? Guys can get laid just as women can through lies and deceit daily if that’s the ultimate goal, but if a girl asks a question we have the responsibility to answer it no matter what the outcome without lowering our morals to make them feel accepted or wanted. Most girls will agree, they do not want us to everrrr lie to them until thy are happily married to us and they are pregnant and ask us if they look fat after month 6. To ask a loaded question like that and react in such a way to your honest answer proves one thing….Shallow LOSERRRRRRRRRRRR. Im sure you agree now after looking back on it. Next time a girl asks you what you think about another chick in the first conversation, just have fun and beat her to the punch by saying, “Oh yeah, she’s hot but my dustbuster at home sucks a way better dick than her although I shouldn’t say that cause she was drunk and I was just using her. By the way honey, would you like a shot at the dustbuster title? I’ll drive.” and walk away as she shits and pisses herself from surprise!! She is worth nothing more if she went there with you that fast. Nothing but trouble brother….Good post and good writing…Congrats!
You know Mr. Deep, after reading your response and reflecting on the situation a bit more, I think your right. There’s always this Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde in me that makes me want to score the quick and easy touchdown, but in the long run it would probably have been a worse story.
I really enjoyed reading Mr. Deep’s response. I at times have done the answering a question with a question… with the same result as yours. I think you were the lucky one since obviously she was a game player.
Keep writing. Like your work.
Oh my, I hear this a lot when I ask how old a man is – “Well how old do you think I am?”. That is an instant deal breaker! If I asked a question, answer it, do not treat me like the guy at the fair who guesses age/weight for $2.
I often get told I look like I am 22 or so, but I am 28. I often find that the over 30 crowd likes to use this as a response because they often think they are too old for me. Often I just say nevermind and walk away.