Speed Dating with 30-Somethings

Last week, I went to another unique speed dating event. It was an over 30 event where single 30-somethings searched for other single 30-somethings. I’m 28, not only the youngest in the room but not a 30-something either. Amber, from OnSpeedDating.com, invited me to this event (in part to the poorly attended Cougar Night) and reassured me that I would fit in with the crowd. Unlike the other events, I was surrounded by a group where I clearly did not fit in.

I’m reminded of a talk I had with Thomas Edwards about this very same subject. Many times I find myself as the odd-piece in a crowd of people. Either I’m the only minority in the room, or one of the youngest in the room. I’ve always seen this as a liability. Thomas made me see the glass half-full and use it as an advantage. I was unique, and my unique qualities would separate me from the other in the room. In essence, I was a unicorn. As a unicorn, I embraced my unique quality. I was younger than everyone in the room. I had to pair this with a lesson I was learning, presentation and how it was key.

Presentation is everything, especially while speed dating. Something you learn from speed dating is how to best package yourself in a short amount of time. Any man can get the attention of a woman, it’s the presentation that truly matters. In a room filled with 30-somethings, seeking other 30-somethings, and I was making great progress. All the women seemed engaged and interested even though I was 20 something. One woman even bought me a drink. I was being successful at this speed dating event because I was able to present myself in a manner that garnered each of the women’s attention. I was able to connect quickly with them based on similar interests or items that peaked their interests in me.

What made me successful wasn’t that I was interesting, it was that I had something interesting to say. I wasn’t boring these women with the full details of my life. I turned, what would be paragraph long answers into quick snapshot sentences. These quick sentences was bait for the women to ask more questions, if they were interested, or to move onto a different topic. For those interested it worked well, my age didn’t become an issue. Who I was became more important. I wasn’t “gaming” them, I didn’t use any tricks or pickup lines. I was amassing conversations by being myself, honest, but presented it in a way that made them take notice.

Image Credit: darkmatter on Flickr