Relationships Aren’t The End of Dating

Having a relationship doesn’t mean the end of your dating life. Actuality, a relationship means you’re dating the same person exclusively. Throughout the exclusive period, there’s still a lot to learn. The same concerns, pitfalls, and situations exist as when you’re not in an exclusive relationship. I find myself often reacting to many of my insecurities, but having to manage them with one person and not many.

In the past three months of being Rule Breaker’s boyfriend, I’ve learned a lot about the meaning of a relationship. I’ve never considered a relationship to be the balls and chain as it’s often referred, but I always assumed there were some major sacrifices to be made. The truth is, having a girlfriend doesn’t make me any less single than when I was dating, it just means there’s separate rules to follow (such as not cheating.) Let’s be honest about something here, there isn’t a “girlfriend” checkbox under “status,” that doesn’t mean I’m not in a important relationship with another person.

When in ride the train to work in the morning, and an attractive woman is near me, I look. Every man looks, regardless of our relationship status. There have been times I’ve randomly talked to attractive women on planes, trains, and at bars. I don’t think Rule Breaker expects me not to do these things, I think she expects the intent to be different. I’m not talking to attractive women to find out when their next availability for an underwear party. I’m talking to these women because we share a common interest, for instance if she’s my bar tender and I would like a beer. Also assume I’m not only talking to attractive women, there are unattractive women and many men who’ve I’ve struck conversations with on planes, trains and bars.

In the grand scheme of life, three months is a short amount of time. In many cases I’m navigating through different levels of comfort with my girlfriend. We’re consistently figuring out what is comfortable in our relationship. There’s still plenty we need to learn about each other. While I can relax, knowing that if I dress like a bum one day, she’s not going to run, we’re evaluating each other every day. Essentially, for the last three months I’ve been going thru the initial dating process with the same person.

The difference? Instead of placing a chuck of time and effort into dating websites, that energy is being put into maintaining a healthy relationship with one person.

Photo by: NomadicLass