Single City Guy

Last night turned from a potentially good night into a car wreak. I allowed myself to spiral down a the path of a frustrated, upset, single. We’ve all been there, when life kicks you down and deflates your attempts to date. When the strides to improve seems to unravel easily. Last night my greatest fear became a reality, and it set me back. I’m sure the three beers I drank further aided the poor frame of mind. If I were to rate how I handled my frustrations, it would rank as a C-. Here’s what happened.

I went to OnSpeedDating’s size matters event last night. It was a speed dating event for tall men and women. Overall, the event was enjoyable (more thoughts on this in a later post.) Speed dating can be very honest, a type of honesty that you’re not ready for. While there were some potential dates, I’m positive I struck out with all of them. It’s like my current luck with OkCupid, plenty of swinging and plenty of missing. It was an experience to try, something different, and something I could learn from. All was going fairly well at this point.

Then last nights humiliating experience smacked me in the face. It made me rethink the entire evening, consider the things I could have done differently and the flaws and mistakes I could have remedied. The more I thought, the more frustrated I became. I kept replaying some moments over in my head. PUA’s have a term for what I was turning into, they call it them an Average Frustrated Chump or AFC. This is a person who looses their cool, their demeanor in the face of dating adversity. I was an AFC.

I was told of a Meatup, a singles event where the point was to meet sexy singles. It was a hookup event, a singles night where you could find a potential short term date. It was 10 and I was an hour away from the event, which ends at 2. The sane portion of my brain told me to go home, lick my wounds, try another day. The frustrated, angry, upset portion of my brain told me to go to the Meatup and try my luck there.

It’s 11, I’m withdrawing what ever little money I have left in my account to attend this event. $15 at the door, $6, for a drink, $1 tip, and $4 for a hot dog. I convinced myself this would be a worthwhile investment. That I would be able to approach women and find a date, at least someone to cuddle. I told myself, I would walk into the room and women would fall all over me. I wasn’t living in reality.

I didn’t last long at all. I didn’t attempt to talk to anyone. I did a round of the place, and when I had my opportunity, I locked up. Made another attempt and found a lame excuse to not approach. I got disgruntled when I saw groups of couples engaged in make out sessions. I was going about this the wrong way.

When I left, there were two girls in front of me, walking to the train station. I caught up with them and made one last attempt to meet someone for the evening. These were the wrong type of women to try to pick up when in an alcohol fused, frustrated, angry state of mind. These women were the entitled, immature, “I’m better than you” type who trying to blow me off, but I wasn’t giving them a chance. I’ve had enough of this type of woman for the night, and I was trying to make a point. As if I was trying to tell every woman whose ever blown me off, “I’m a great catch!” I managed to wrestle a name from them, how their night went, why there were leaving. This also ended in laughter, one of them snorted while she laughed. My evening was ending in laughter, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t directed at me.

I could have handled last night differently. If I did, wouldn’t have missed breakfast this morning, be late for work, or continue my frustration that has lingered throughout the day. Some of this I’ve tried to turn into motivation, the rest still stings. I need to find better ways to handle this frustration.