Maybe It's Not Me

We all have our moments where we question our dating successes and failures. They are usually just that, a series of events that lead to some success or failure. While my dating life, overall, is a mixture of successes and failures, during my the periods where women weren’t responding to me, I began to ask, “what’s wrong with me?” By asking this question, I was ignoring the successes I’ve had, the lessons learned to build upon. Maybe the real answer to the question has nothing to do with me, but with women.

We all pass up opportunities, especially when it comes to dating. I’m not going to suggest that every woman I’ve dated has missed out on their best opportunity by by not seeking a relationship with me. That would be egotistical. I would be ignoring the flaws I have and would suggest that I’m the best choice for every woman in the world. It’s not the truth. There is a possibility that I’m not the best fit for the women I’ve dated in the past.

However, I do believe that women are often seeking cookie cutter men, instead of men right for them. There is a difference.

For many women in my past, I wasn’t the right guy. That’s not to say I’m not a good guy. Megan Fox is a very attractive woman, and if she asked me on a date I wouldn’t hesitate (Megan, call me if you’re reading this!) While on said fictional date we may realize that we aren’t compatible at all for one another. In actuality, we may be bitter enemies because we prefer different sports teams (or something). Men have a tendency to overlook the flaws in beautiful woman, and instead of only seeking attractive women, maybe we should have been seeking compatible women who are attractive.

Although I’ve previously stated my online dating mistakes, I often find myself making the ultimate mistake. Just because she’s cute, I believe I should send her a message. That doesn’t mean she’s right for me. Her looks aren’t an indication that we mesh, it’s just an indication that she would look great naked. Big boobs says nothing about a woman’s personality, they are just eye candy. Don’t get me wrong, I love big breasts, but I’ve yet to met an abundance of great women with large chests. Boobs are great but so are brains.

Being attracted to someone requires more than just looks. It requires being able to have a connection with them not rooted in sex. This means being attracted to their personality, not just their booty. When seeking women, I should have been asking, “Am I truly interested in this woman?”

While I would love to point the finger and solely blame the women who haven’t returning my messages, or sought additional dates, I could have also chosen women who aren’t right for me. That’s not to say that women aren’t picky, stubborn and crazy, but there are many different types of women out there. The ones that have passed me up only miss out.

Photo by Lisa Omarali