Single City Guy

Bad sex happens. Even those who claim to be “magicians” in bed, often jump over the basics that make sex wonderful. Bad sex isn’t an indicator of a bad woman, but some of the best lessons I’ve learned about women come from the many bad experiences between the sheets. That’s not to say you should sleep with a woman to determine if she’s the right one for you, but great relationships usually have great sex. There’s usually a sexual compatibility that exists with those you’re dated for a while and those you’ve wound up in relationships. I’ve found some trends with the women I’ve had horrible sexual experiences with.

First are the braggers, the women who claim to be the best in bed. I’ve often found these women to be nothing but talk. There isn’t an Emmy for blowjobs, an Oscar for moaning and a SAG award for freakiness. Unless you’re in porn, there isn’t hardware for the hard-ons. The women who rank their sexual prowess, often delude themselves. I don’t care how many men you have lined up to bed you, there’s always someone better. I’ve found, these women tend to relay on the man to do the heavy lifting. When the sex is bad, they often blame the guy, but when it’s good often take the credit themselves. If the guy is doing all of the work, it’s the guy who deserves the credit. You don’t get an award for showing up.

Several times I’ve met a woman who enjoys foreplay, but doesn’t want to take the next step forward. During my long stretch as a virgin or any extreme dry spell, I joked that I was being too generous and engaging in too much foreplay. I enjoy foreplay, I feel it’s the best part of sex, but I’ve often found myself getting a woman off well before I did. I would never receive any reciprocation. I’ve found, these women tend to be greedy. Not just sexually, but throughout the relationship process. They felt entitled for the things they wanted, regardless of how ludicrous is may have been, without any consideration of their partner.

Every person has certain rules about sex, some legitimate, others are abnormal. Dog Lady was the latter of these type of women, as she had some very strange rules. While her performance in bed was horrible, it was proceeded with a lot of teasing, dry humping, and at a certain point she would introduce a random rule from left field. Some rules were legitimate and made plenty of sense, others were asinine and were excuses for her own insecurities. I found out Dog Lady, extremely enjoyed rape play, and wasn’t proud of her hygiene. While I have nothing wrong with most kinks (including rape play), she seemed to take it to a level I’ve never experienced in the past. I soon found out there was a story behind her kink, and she also convinced herself it was okay, as a woman, to be raped by any man. Her hygiene was a separate issue. Her garden was a mess and had a very foul order. Her rules surrounding sex, and these two issues, were covers for her major insecurities and struggles with her past. She was afraid I would be scared away. In truth, I was.

Like men, women have their own quirks about sex. While sex tends to be an intimate process, how your partner approaches the topic tends to add an additional layer of information about their preferences and personality. The lessons I’ve learned aren’t the norm for every woman, but they were a part of several patterns. Bad sex happens to the best of us, but a person’s sexual history and patterns speaks volumes about a person. If some troubling sexual patterns emerge, be warned and take caution. Make sure you can deal with the possible potholes that exist in the bedroom, but also make sure you don’t make some dire mistakes.

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