A Different Type Of Speed Dating

I’ve always wanted to try speed dating. I wanted to see what it would be like, almost as a novelty event. All of my experiences with speed dating has been through stories told by other people, and it conjures very negative thoughts and awful stories. The real problem with speed dating is, how do you get to know someone in such a brief moments? What type of losers would attend a speed date? The truth is, in New York City, we’re always speed dating. Wether on the commute, at a coffee place, meeting a new coworker for the first time; there are a few brief moments to introduce yourself, make an impression and determine if you want to go out on a date with them. You don’t get to choose who you pick in these situations, you meet them under certain circumstances: they enjoy coffee, they take the L to work, they are in IT. So when I was approached by OnSpeedDating.com to review their services, not only did I get my opportunity to try speed dating for the first time, but I also had the opportunity to try a different type of speed dating, one that seemed to combine online-dating and real world scenarios into the taboo that is speed dating.

OnSpeedDating.com is different from most speed dating events, their speed dates revolve around a certain theme. Want to meet a firefighter? There’s a “Playing with Fire” event. Love older women? Try the “Cougar/Boy Toy Speed Dating” event. Last Wednesday, I went to the “Size Matters” event, focused on tall men (over 6’) and tall women (over 5’7”). The themed events help take the guess work out of what I was walking into. I love tall women and knew on Wednesday the women would be tall, and seeking tall men.

The event was held at a bar near NYU. I wanted to get to the event early, mainly because I was nervous and hungry! I had also not eaten much in the last few hours and figured I could grab a small snack (a side of fries), a drink (to calm the nerves), and mingle. When I arrived, I met the organizers, got a speed-dating pamphlet with instructions and places to note my potentials, and a name tag. I felt really awkward with the name tag, it was as if I was saying, “I need help dating, and yes my name is….”. The awkwardness lasted while at the bar. While it provided an opportunity to see my potential picks and mingle, it felt like a high-school prom. The guys were on one side, the girls on the other. I tend to be a bit adventurous.

Thinking of food more than mingling, I found myself seated in between several women. One who was definitely going to be in the speed dating mix, another two who were unsure about it. In conversation I was able to discuss beer preferences, the point of speed dating, and sports. When the event began, it was what I was told of any speed dating event. You get a limited amount of time to talk to each woman, and using the pamphlet, kept track of the ones I liked and disliked. After 17 rounds of three minute mini-dates, I had a list of potential women and non-potentials.

The dates themselves were a mixed bag but good overall. There was an interesting mix of woman, some were awkward, others I didn’t have a connection at all. The women I had initial conversations with were some of the more interesting women on my dating circuit, but those were also mixed bags of success. It was an average crowd, some good, some bad, everyone else was cool. I do feel sorry for the last 4 or 5 women I met. They didn’t get my complete effort. By the time I met them I felt so rushed, I had my mind made up and really didn’t give them much of an effort. My mind was swirling with names and details at that point.

The process of each speed date felt robotic, every three minutes I was repeating the same information repeatedly. Who I was, what I did, how old I was. Only a handful were interesting enough that I had interesting conversation. I need a new approach, perhaps a different question for each woman? After the event, there was time to converse with the women I wanted to get to know them further and have an extended date. The women I had interests with, seemed to be scooped up by other men, but I knew this wasn’t the end.

What makes OnSpeedDating.com unique is it’s approach. It’s connected to a series of websites. OnSpeedDating.com is where you create a profile, upload images, and sign up for dates. After each event you have the opportunity to select the people you would like to contact. If they respond, you begin to communicate thru their free online personal’s site, Kissburg.com. While the approach seems unintuitive, it makes some sense. At the event, you cannot juggle the people you met at once, you’re going to end up choosing one or two people to try to make a deeper connection with. If it doesn’t work out, there’s a list of women you can bridge connections with from the first meeting.

I would recommend OnSpeedDating.com to anyone seeking a spark in their dating life. While the process may be awkward (like most speed dating events), it’s a very unique way to meet new and interesting individuals. The events can be fun, interesting and fit exactly what you may be seeking at a particular moment. The worse that can happen is you become more comfortable introducing yourself to women and begin to meet some new ones.

Full Disclosure: I obtained complementary admittance to the events I choose to attend.