When Should You Consider Exclusivity?

SCG: I know this isn't a dating picture, per say, but it's a cool design from a clothing company!

Here’s a great question I’ve recently had to handle. When do you become exclusive with the person you’re dating? There isn’t a 20 date minimum to exclusivity, it’s more innate than that, it’s a feeling. That may be a “cop out” answer, but it’s the only logical answer.

There comes a point while dating that you know it’s time to give up on seeing anyone else. It’s when the thought of dating another person doesn’t feel right, where you don’t have any interests in another person. It’s also when that feeling isn’t forced upon you but develops naturally.

When you date someone you like, the beginning is always flooded with intense emotions and feelings. You’re going like everything about them instantly, want to see them often, and your thoughts are going to include an intense sense of longing. After that there’s usually a letdown, many people realize that maybe they don’t feel the same, or that feeling of longing is really lust.

There’s several ways to tell if you’re truly interested in the person your dating, however I think the clear-cut sign is when you don’t see yourself dating another person. The moment you’re not interested in going on anymore dates with strangers is time to throw in the towel. This isn’t because dating has become a hassle, but because you don’t feel the need to continue to date. It’s the “I rather see the person I’m dating, rather than try to date some stranger,” feeling.

I used to think it takes about a month to get to this point, but with some of the women I’ve dated, it’s taken about a month to know that I don’t like them. Don’t think of it as a timeline, or a certain amount of dates, some people know they are perfect for each other the minute they lay eyes on one another, other take a wee bit longer.

Whenever you decide to become exclusive with your date, make sure a few things have happened before that point:

1. Make sure you’re not interested in seeing anyone else. Hesitation isn’t a good thing.
2. Make sure you’re ready. If someone really likes you, they may wait for you, but not forever.
3. Make sure the two of you have the same goals in place. Some people would like a family immediately, others rather wait for some time.
4. Lastly, have no doubt. You cannot become exclusive with someone if you doubt them or yourself. Don’t.

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