Since I’ve introduced my list theory, it has helped me focus on the women I should be dating instead of the women I want to date. It’s the difference between an attractive woman who fits me and the hot blonde who’s good only for her looks. When I first introduced it, I felt as if I was skipping over something important. By definition, if you’re not considered an A, B or C lister, you’re in the friend zone. There is a fourth option, the people we never expect to date.
Often, we’re in charge of our dating environment. We approach the people we want to date, they either date or reject us, we repeat until there’s success. The dating world doesn’t revolve around our wants and needs, we’re not the center of the universe. Everything else acts on their own regardless of our interaction with them. Meaning, while we’re searching for someone, another person could be seeking for us. Often this is someone we do not expect, do not anticipate, or normally would not date, but have a mutual attraction.
This person can be anybody, a coworker we always thought of as a good friend, someone we often see at the gym, an acquaintance. This person usually doesn’t fit any of our qualifications as they seem to be the complete opposite of what we’re seeking. Oddly, this person tends to make the most sense. The D-Lister is this person. They are the unexpected, unintended person we end up dating. They may be the complete opposite of who we are, but we’re okay with it. They seem to match so well into our lives, and it only makes sense to date them.
Often, you don’t seek the D-Lister, they seek you. The attraction happens naturally and the two of you end up facing an important question, what’s next? This is 50/50, some of the friends I’ve seen date D-Lister’s have been very successful. All of my D-List dates haven’t been (although I’ve only had two). Mine start out as intense passionate loves, only to fizzle months later.
I always encourage people to date those outside of their preferences, so a D-lister is of no exception. Everyone should date someone who they are attracted to, but may lie outside of their dating preferences. You may be surprised with the results.
Image Credit: brododaktula on Flickr
#1 by Blondie on December 25, 2009 - 11:49 pm
Some hot blondes are good for more than just their looks!