Men Like to Be Approached
The question of approaching a potential date has come up in a series of recent e-mail’s and conversations with friends. On Twitter I asked if women approach guys or do they prefer to be approached. Between the responses I received and the answers from my friends the answer is fairly unanimous, women prefer to be approached leaving the sole responsibility on the shoulders of us men. You would think after some several million years of evolution of hunting and finding what we want, the hetero-male-sapien (if that’s not a word, it is now), would have patented this process. We haven’t.
Men face a lot of doubt when approaching a woman, regardless of our level of toolamship. There’s a reason Mystery’s three second rule works really well. It gets us to stop thinking and just do. The more confident and sure a guy is, the more comfortable they are in approaching a woman. The other strategy is to let things “naturally” progress, gaging our approach through more social avenues. Regardless of the type of guy and his method of approaching, we love it when a woman approaches us.
In an honest conversation with a friend, I told her “The same way you MUST have that pair of shoes is the same way you must think of dating.” Stop window shopping your only going to drive yourself crazy. Grab what you want, walk up to the counter and pay for it. Like any purchase it may fit you for years or you may end up asking for a refund next week. If you like a guy, try talking to him and ask him out, making it known that you are interested in him.
Approaching a guy doesn’t make you a slut or overbearing. When we’re approached it signals that this woman is interested. If your afraid of coming on to strong or making him think you just want sex, you’re probably approaching the wrong guy. We do not think any different of you if you approach us or if you don’t. A guy who just wants to add you as another notch to his bedpost will think of you the same way regardless of you approaching him or he approaching you.
How should you approach a guy? Easy, ask him out for lunch, drinks, coffee. Get creative if you have to, women your a lot better at getting our attention than we are!
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Very well put!
Some of us males are initially shy or overly careful because some guys have ruined it for all by just being about “hi, nice smile, let’s have sex”.
Cheers
Approaching? A guy? Would this also mean TALKING to them? Hmm..
Truthfully, I don’t tend to meet people organically anymore. And my few attempts at “flirting” in recent months have resulted in discussions on hand soap and hot dogs (not the same conversation). I think I’m better at initiating online, but I certainly wouldn’t turn down an in-person opportunity if one presented itself.
@SingleGal i wonder if you don’t think there’s an opportunity or you don’t make them? And hoe the hell do you flirt with hand soap and hot dogs?!
The thing about this is some men like to be approached… and others don’t. There are men like you who do appreciate it, but I have also heard many men say that they like the “chase,” and when a woman makes the first move there is no challenge and are therefore less interested. I’ve also heard many men say they like a woman who approaches them. There are also men who SAY they like a woman to take the initiative, but when it happens they are not interested. So, like pretty much everything when it comes to dating, it all depends.