Learn to Ignore the Wrong Women

There’s an assumption that every women is potentially the right woman. Most of the literature, tell us guys that a 10 is the type woman we want. We take classes, find new clothing, learn how to approach these amazing 10‘s, only to end up with poor quality women. Instead of seeking the right woman for us, we are drawn to the bad girls: the bitches, the sluts, the gold diggers, and so on. We end up with poor quality women, because we set our sights on their looks and ignore the substance.

At a recent speed dating event, I came across said wrong woman. She was very attractive. At the end of the speed dating event, she wanted to continue the conversation we had, playfully dragging me over to the bar for a drink. She was hinting that I should get her the drink. When we reached the bar, we continued to talk, and were getting very involved with conversation. It was playful, interesting, and engaging. On the surface she seemed to be interested, when she only wanted a free drink. After a few extended moments, she hinted again at the drink I should be buying her. This wasn’t going to happen. I was giving up drinking for the day, although someone had bought one for me earlier. I also felt she was overreaching her boundary. She initiated this extended session, she should be buying me a drink.

Once she got the bar tenders attention, she reached in her bra to pay the man. Classy. Upon getting her drink, she began to ignore me, blatantly, talking to another guy. It became clear that I was trying to be used for a free ride. The time I spent with her, I could have spent with another woman (which eventually happened). This woman felt entitled to tell me I should be buying her a drink, which I’m sure most men did in hopes of gaining her affection. I attempted to reinitiate a conversation with her, only getting a word in before her attention wondered elsewhere. I’ve just waisted my time.

Any woman who imposes their wants on a guy they’ve just met, keeps their money in their bra strap and uses their looks to get attention isn’t the right woman. She may be the right-now woman, but she’s not marrying material. While she was a 9, she wasn’t a quality woman, and barely a C-Lister. Before meeting her I realized she was a bit messy, loud, and I got a weird vibe from her. Less woman, more “party” girl. There were several signs that she was a right now woman, the way she carried herself, the way she handled a situation. It was clear she wasn’t a quality date.

There’s nothing wrong with a fun woman, but if you’re seeking quality, a woman like this isn’t the right one. Women like this aren’t usually worth the effort, unless that’s what you’re seeking. I find I make the same mistake while online dating as well, instead of paying attention to the substance, I’m paying attention to the looks and the pictures. My online dating adventures haven’t seen the amount of success I would like. In part because I’m seeking the wrong woman. Many of us men need to re-evaluate what is the right woman.

Image Credit: Jarlo on Flickr