Women have asked me if men are intimidated by their looks? They often wonder if their looks intimidate us and prevent us from asking them on dates. I’ve also heard women use this as an excuse to mend their bruised ego when a guy doesn’t ask them out. The answer to the question is yes, and no. Men aren’t often intimidated by good looking women. Often the reason guys do not ask women out has nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with us.
There are men who are intimidated by beautiful women, but not because of her looks. These men are often afraid they out of her league. They become anxious, their insecurities take over, paralyzing them with hesitation. Like women, men suffer from appearance anxieties and insecurities, but we don’t have cosmetic makeup and surgeries to fix these flaws. Nothing helps the anxiety, the more timid men becomes, the less likely women would approach them. If approached by a woman, men in these positions tend to be unsure of the next steps. It’s new territory, hot women rarely approach them.
Other men are hesitant from asking attractive women on dates because of fears that stem from the anxiety. Commonly is the fear of rejection that stops many men. I often have problems approaching a woman due to this fear. It causes a great deal of stress and has been a major road block. The task of asking a woman out is more intimidating than it seems. There’s always an anxiety when approaching woman we like, even more when we’re asking her out. If rejected, our ego is bruised which takes some time to mend. It’s almost an act of self preservation, if a guy doesn’t ask a woman out he has nothing to loose. The problem is that logic is flawed and repetative. The act of asking a woman out is the source of our anxiousness, not the woman herself.
There’s a slew of other reasons a guy doesn’t ask attractive woman out on a date. Maybe she’s not his type, maybe he’s not interested, or maybe he’s already in a relationship. Assuming he’s intimidated by your looks is more myth than fact. Don’t assume that’s the case.
Image Credit: daniel weaver on Flickr
#1 by Fish on December 21, 2009 - 6:41 am
Spot on. Every word here is true, ladies. Great work.
#2 by girltrueheart on December 21, 2009 - 8:08 am
Thanks for writing this. If you haven’t covered it yet (I’m a new follower so I still want to sift thru the archives), I wonder about the angle that ultimately comes up at the conclusion of reading this for me: So how do guys feel about a woman asking them out? Too ballsy? Because it then places us in a spot where we now feel we must pay (hey we did the asking) which further places us in the driver seat and further away from actually knowing if the guy really likes us or if he just said yes because we asked. Over analyzing? Perhaps. Just my Monday thinkin; it might be stinkin.
#3 by Skye Blue on December 21, 2009 - 8:27 am
Interesting post. Although I can appreciate the fact that men are often afraid of rejection when considering approaching a woman, I think the whole ‘I intimidate men’ thing is way overdone by women.
In my experience the women who are most likely to say that men are intimidated by them (based on looks, profession, education etc) are 1) women who are trying to assuage their insecurities when a man they are interested in rejects them, or 2) women who are trying to downplay the fact that their abrasive, overbearing and downright unapproachable energy keeps men away from them.
That’s my two cents…
#4 by Kate on December 21, 2009 - 9:00 am
Very true – I have thought for a while this is us trying to make ourselves feel better if a guy isn’t into us.
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/
#5 by Miss Alpha on December 21, 2009 - 11:49 am
I agree with Skye Blue. The only reason a man doesn’t ask a woman out – beautiful or otherwise – is because he is not interested. Even a timid man will usually take the risk if he is truly drawn to someone. Also, if you are only average looking but have an inviting energy you will be beating them off with a stick.
#6 by Ed on December 22, 2009 - 3:20 pm
All this on men not asking women out, how about you start a discussion about what stops women from asking men out?
#7 by Single City Guy on December 22, 2009 - 3:36 pm
Several reasons really, here’s two:
I’m not a woman and I really don’t know. I assume they EXPECT us to talk to them
This blog is dating from the male prospective, and a post to help women soo…
#8 by Mikael on December 23, 2009 - 3:48 am
Very interesting… But I’ve also been told that I’m intimidating because of my confidence on more than one occasion. Apparently, that was the reason I was never asked to my high school prom. I thought confidence was a turn-on. *scratches head* Is it true that it can be an intimidating factor as well?
#9 by Single City Guy on December 23, 2009 - 7:50 pm
@Mikael Confidence is a turn on! Well for me! It depends on how it comes out. Anyone who’s overconfident can come off as cocky. If it is you being a strong woman and just being confident but humble, then I’m sure it’s because guys think they are going to be shot down. Singers/Actresses are always in a weird position because a regular guy doesn’t think he has the chance, when in actually he does. You may want to try approaching men more often, some may freak out, but others will respect it and enjoy it.