To me, Betty White is the ultimate mother. That’s not to say that I don’t love my mother or think she’s the most awesome woman in the world. Betty White embodies all the qualities we love, enjoy, respect and ask of our mothers. To sound like a card carrying member of the Tea Party (which I’m not), Betty White is America’s Mother.

I could create a list, a flowchart or break down my reasoning, but I’m going to take a different approach (being mother’s day and all). We all respect Betty White for many reasons, mine are simple, she’s always going to be that honest, vigilant woman who will randomly say crazy things, wrapped in a loving and caring way. It’s hard not to love this woman, even though many of us have never met her in person and only know her thru her characters on television or movies. There’s plenty of people who’ve never watched the Golden Girls, only to experience Betty White on Saturday Night Live for the first time ever. There you get a glimpse of what makes this 88 (and a half) year old woman special.

Betty White represents the women in our lives we’ve grown up with. The mothers, grandmothers, surrogate mothers (I have a few!), who have shaped our lives the only way a mother could. When you take a step away from the general sphere’s of this blog, and look at the grand scheme of life, men and women have all been shaped by our mothers. Traditionally our mothers are the first to protect, care, and nurture. Life would be very different without our mothers involvement.

The thought that stirred this post, wasn’t the resent Saturday Night Live featuring Betty White, but a recognition of Mother’s Day. Saying, “Happy Mother’s Day Mom” on a blog she doesn’t read makes little sense. I’m also under the assumption that many mother’s don’t read my blog (although I could be wrong). By the end of the day, we’re going to find our own special ways to thank, respect, and cherish the mothers in our lives. Regardless of the way we display this appreciation, they deserve our thanks, love, and care.

Every club has crowds of singles looking for some action. Some clubs are better than others when it comes to finding potential singles, all while featuring great music. I was quite interested in the clubbing scene in NYC, and have often ventured from club to club on the weekends. From my experience, here’s a list of the clubs and party locations I highly recommend finding potential dates (or something else).

1. Webster Hall: The first club I went to holds very fond memories for me. Webster Hall is the ultimate NYC club. Four floors of entertainment, each floor with a different them, most floors with a bar on the side. It’s not hard to go from Salsa, to Hip-Hop to House in one night, or even on the same floor. It’s also not hard to find single’s at Webster Hall. Known for it’s sexually charged nature, Webster Hall is a feeding ground for singles who want to have fun.
2. Pacha: Known best for it’s electronic and house parties, Pacha is one of the few venues for eccentric house parties. Things like the S&M party, or the underwear party, brings the freaks out at night. Pacha’s tailors to a house crowd, although there is a Hip-Hop room on the top floor, most of the action happens downstairs. Singles beware, they come in packs to this club, and aren’t too hard to find.
3. Plunge: More of a lounge than a club, Plunge sits on top of the Hotel Gansevoort in the Meatpacking District. This trendy lounge is popular hangout for PUA’s in the city, but also the location of some very great looking trendy singles. While there isn’t a traditional DJ (sounds more like a mixed playlist), the crowd is varied and talking to people seems easy. Often, there are singles of all ages who visit this lounge, and a great spot for single spotting.
4. LQ Night Club, New York: Best known for where Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg, LQ is a unique club that mixes Latin and Hip-Hop, which features plenty of dancing. LQ (which stands for Latin Quaters), is the best place to go to for salsa dancing, and great to meet new dance partners. You are judged by how well you dance, be warned! LQ’s is the most unique place on my list, which used to have great afterwork events which provided an opportunity to mingle and meet dance ready singles!
5. Culture Club: To this day, there’s something a woman told me about single women. She asked me where are the single men, I told her a few places I know men tend to hang out in the city. She then said, “That’s silly, if single men wanted to meet women, they would go to Culture Club!” I’m not fond of the Culture Club, but she has a point. Many women love the 80′s, New Kids on The Block, 16 Candles, Pretty in Pink, and the list goes on. Women love the 80′s, including many hot single women. With 80′s theme drinks and the entire place covered in the retro style, find some of your best 80′s gear and walk on in!

Photo By: Christopher Schoenbohm

Thru my perusing, I saw the new Sex And The City 2 trailer. I don’t have much of a history with the show, I’ve watched a few episodes, and never saw the movie. I don’t plan to watch the sequel either. I don’t hate the show, I think it’s well done and some of the actors I enjoy in other shows. However, I hate the message! I hate how it’s the staple for relationship advice for woman in New York City. It’s unrealistic view of relationships and dating does more harm then good. Sex And The City is up there with Cosmopolitan as bad influences for women who want destructive relationships and lives.

So, why am I groaning at the new trailer? Simple, it continues the premise of a woman never being happy. After 6 seasons, and 1 movie, Carrie finally marries the man she’s obsessed over. Now, while in the relationship that she wants, she’s not happy. As she says in the trailer, “Somewhere between wild sex and a baby…,” there’s some problems. Note, they don’t have children. Another reason for her discontent “Big and I are getting a little to Mr. and Mrs. Married!” I ask you, what’s wrong with that? Some of the women and men reading this blog want to get a little to Mr. and Mrs. Married! The trailer continues as, GASP, a former love interest appears in Carries life and it seems she’s going to have to make a choice.

So, after getting exactly what she wanted, and having great wild sex (who doesn’t love great wild sex), and having the “perfect” life, you mean to tell me she still has doubts? There are some legitimate questions that seem to arise: what do you do after you get married? What happens in a long term relationship? What’s next? All legitimate questions, but not when you have everything you want! Relationships require work, time and patience. There’s ebbs and flows, high points, low points, and everything in between. However, taking trips to foreign countries and hooking up with old loves because you’re not happy? The hell sort of message is that?!

If you get everything you want, you don’t run at the moment of doubt. You don’t find an escape. You work very hard on what you have. That’s not the message here.

The dating blogger community is very interesting and unique. There’s as much drama, backstabbing and gossiping as in any other niche community. Someone we can’t see outside of the bubble to realize that, this is really just that, a niche. It’s a part of our lives, but at times we all believe it to be our life. That’s when we make a very large mistake.

Dating isn’t the same thing as a relationship, which isn’t the same thing as marriage. These are all niches under a larger umbrella, lifestyle. While there are magazines dedicated to dating, there’s also magazines dedicated to sports, fishing, and interior decorticating. They are all facests of our life, but not our lives. They all make up a part of our lifestyle. At one time or another, they may take the dominant position.

Why do I bring this up? For those who think this post is about you, it’s not. The larger point I’m hinting at is, dating isn’t the only thing a person can do in their life. It’s not a hobby, or a job. Even those who are professionals in the dating circle have a life outside of their job, which is directly related to dating. Life doesn’t end if you can’t find a date on Sunday, or if they don’t call you back. We all make this mistake, dating blogger or not.

Dating should add to your life, not become your sole purpose. Sometimes I felt addicted to OkCupid, when I probably should have done something else. I could have gone out, worked out more, slept earlier. While the reward from dating can be exciting and high value, so can the rewards of playing the lottery. That doesn’t mean it will be the only thing you do.

I’m recommending to Enjoy your life, get away from the dating website. Go out with friends, walk around the city, do something you like! The profiles and messages will still be there when you come back!

Photo By: Leonardo D’Amico

Men aren’t blind. When we notice an attractive woman on the street, we take a look. If we are with our boys, we may comment or share a look with each other. This happens regardless of our relationship status, single, dating or in a relationship. It doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking of the person we aren’t thinking of our significant other, it just means we aren’t blind.

Often, when we look at other women, the women we’re dating or engaged in a relationship aren’t around. Most men follow the “Look But Don’t Touch” rule. Other men break the rule often enough to have their own orange jumpsuit and prisoner ID number. What goes on in a guys head when we’re looking? Fantasies, random thoughts, or just “damn!” It’s a moment, an impasse, a thought. It means nothing. We’re not going to run away with this woman.

Lets not pretend women don’t do the same thing. If you see a hot guy, women take a look at him. Often we don’t say anything. Women have the right to look, as much as men do. We understand, you’re not blind. I believe, the only time anyone should be offended that their date or significant other is looking at someone else if when they are together and they are being very rude. While it’s okay to look, it’s not okay to be disrespectful. Have some manners.

Looking at another attractive woman doesn’t mean we’re cheating, or even thinking of cheating, or not thinking of you. The’re many reasons we look at other women, maybe she has an attractive figure, or a great outfit we would like to see you in. Maybe we like the way her hair is cut and would like to see you in it. Our thoughts here run from naughty to thoughtful. By looking, our hand isn’t in the cookie jar. If we’re pressing against the very same woman moments later, consider finding some one else.

Photo By: Frederic Poirot

Valentine’s Day is two weeks away and there’s plenty of ideas for great gifts. I always believe one of the presents a guy can get their love is something sexy. Lingerie and sexy underwear is the perfect gift, and always sets the mood. Women, you can always surprise a man by wearing something a new enticing outfit in the bedroom.

Enter, Itsy Bitsy Bra Bar. They approached me with a great deal for the month of Valentine’s Day and February! Head to their website, and use the code SingleCityGuy to receive 10% discount on your order! Itsy Bitsy Bra Bar specializes in underwear and gifts for petite women, but they also have a wide selection for women of any size.

If you need a hint at some ideas, here’s some of the best selling items on the website.

Helen Bustier
Price: $47.50
Queen of Hearts PJ pants
Price: $75.00
Silken Jewel Chemise
Price: $245.00
Getaway Massage/Lotion Kit
Price: $49.50

Tropical Heat Chemise
$50.00

Speed dating is a great way to meet new and interesting people. My friends at OnSpeedDating.com have given me a great offer for single guys only! Tomorrow is their “More To Love” event, speed dating for full-figured women and the men they love! There are plenty of spots for men to attend, and if you click on this link and use the code PHAT, you will get in for free!

Having attended OnSpeedDating events, there’s plenty of attractive women who want to meet you! “MoreTo Love” begins at 4pm, at Butterfield 8 on E. 38th between 5th and Madison.

Have fun!

Speed Dating is interesting and helpful. It provides the ability to meet attractive, single women; allows you to practice introducing yourself; and most importantly it can be a fun experience. I was recently informed about an interesting speed dating event happening in the NYC area.

Find Your Luvah, aiming to be the largest speed dating event in Guinness World History, is going to take place at the W Hoboken in New Jersey on January 29th, 2010. The event costs only $15 (a portion being given to the charity Women In Need), and an open bar. After reading the story behind the event, I had a few questions for the organizers of the event.

Why do you feel speed dating is more attractive than going on 150 dates?

I don’t think speed dating is better than 150 dates or that 150 dates is better. This is about finding love and there is always a different journey to getting there. This is one way. It’s fun. It’s sexy. It’s about taking a chance because your new Luvah could be around the corner. It’s in a chic, date-worthy space. The W is all about getting your groove on. And we’re offering more than dating, but a whole experience.

What’s the incentive from someone coming from the city into Hoboken?

Open bar from X-Rated Fusion vodka and 200 single women just waiting to get hit on! Not to mention swag from Purple Lab ( all of the women will receive a lip stain equipped with libido stimulants), Dentyne, Swingle – sexy cologne/perfume with pheromones, Got2b, Schick, Blume Girl, Skinny Water and more! All of this is totally worth the $2 metro card and the 15 minute trip to Hoboken.

How many women have signed up for the event?

200 women – we actually had to cut off pre-registration for women due to the insane response! We have 60 men signed up at the moment – so come on guys, step it up! You can register now at www.purplelabnyc.com/speeddating

Any tips for the single men who would be attending the event?

1. Leave the cheesy pick up lines at home and just be yourself
2. Take advantage of open bar, but don’t over do it with the open bar. No one wants a sloppy date
3. Only attend if you are actually single! We don’t want to create any drama
4. Dress to impress! An ironed shirt goes a long way
5. If you are into a girl, follow up with her. After the event we will have you go back to our Web site www.purplelabnyc.com/speeddating and plug in the number of the girl(s) who you liked.  If you make a match – take her out again, W Hoboken will even give you a complimentary drink on them.

How is this event separate from other speed dating events?

Who doesn’t want to say they met their future wife at the largest speed dating event in Guinness World Record History. Such a great story for the grandkids!

If you’re a single guy, this sounds like the event you should be attending in the NYC area. You can visit the website and register for the event.

I think dating thru social media is a great idea, you get to know a person better thru Twitter or Facebook than any particular dating website. When I discovered #SingleOnBway, I instantly thought this was a brilliant idea. It’s an opportunity to meet someone new, go on a blind date with them, and see The Pride, staring Hugh Dancy, Adam Jones, Andrea Riseborough and Ben Whishaw at the MCC Theater.

Initiated by @BroadwayGirlNYC, twitters in New York begin by searching the hashtag #SingleOnBway. Once they find an interested Twitter, they must engage in conversation, using the same hashtag #SingleOnBway. Once there’s a match made, both twitters must tweet @BroadwayGirlNYC and #SingleOnBway along with the name of the person you would want to blind date. The contest ends on Saturday, January 9th, when a winner will be chosen.

If you like Broadway plays, enjoy meeting new people, and single, you should give this a shot. For more detail, contest rules and information, visit Broadway Girl NYC Blog . Good luck and have fun!

Image Source: Daniel Liu on Flickr

When I was younger, there was always a tree, dressed with decorations and lighted brightly with multi colored lights, downstairs in the living room. Even if the tree wasn’t grand, there was a tree. In the morning there would always be presents (I always got a Hess truck!) and mom would make pancakes for everyone. We would open the presents together, share morning television with one another, and later have a family dinner with extended family members. I would always dress up and and be given the opportunity to drink wine.

Christmas was such a buzz, even after I moved out in my early twenites. When I visit for Christmas, there would be something, a tree, presents, dinner.

Not every Christmas was grand, there were times presents were pens and pencils. I kid you not. Times were tough sometimes. My father would give us pens and pencils for Christmas. Mom would catch-up with birthday cards she may have forgotten to hand during the year, along with a present. I didn’t care, there were gifts, a Hess truck, family, food. It was fun!

As I grew up I wrote notes attached to my gifts. I told my closest friends and family how much they meant to me. It was written on a card, attached in an envelope to a present wrapped in a bow and Christmas wrapping. These people were my gifts.

Christmas died on May, 2005. I was in the room and watched it die. I was holding its hand. My father passed away at the same moment.

The last Christmas I spent with my father, I was readjusting to moving back into the house I grew up in. My job had cut my salary and I was facing a layoff. My father had also gotten even sicker from the cancer that was eating at him and I was needed at home. I don’t remember if there was a tree that year, but there was lights. There were always lights. There was also decoration, mom loved to decorate. Even with the impending end of my father’s life, Christmas was festive. Family was coming over. It was Christmas!

I don’t remember dad’s present, I think it was replacing a Talking Head CD, or I gave him a CD. It was something musical. I do remember there was a card, where I told him how much I loved him, how much he molded me into the man I am today. That was my last Christmas.

Four Christmas’ have passed and there hasn’t been a tree. No lights or decorations. Maybe there was pancakes for a year. Presents were handed, never wrapped. I’ve been distant. The one thing there has been is dinner with extended family. Sometimes.

Not this year. This year has been rough. I bought one present, for my brother. After bills, major pay cuts, and budget freezes, that was all I could afford. Christmas shouldn’t end for him. There isn’t a note attached to it, and it’s wrapped in the same GameStop bag from the store. It’s a gift, exactly what he wants. He need some sort of Christmas!

When I was younger, mom would take me to Macy’s to visit Santa. We would wait in line, until I could sit in Santa’s lap, happy and eager. He would ask me what I would want and I would say some toy, or game, or another Hess truck. I loved getting those every year! I haven’t seen Santa in such a long time, if I were to sit on his lap, I would turn into a 6 year old and say, “I want my daddy back!” It’s Santa, he can do anything right? I know Santa would turn to me and say, “I’m sorry, I can’t bring your daddy back,” and then something wise and sage that only Santa would say. It still doesn’t change what I want, doesn’t change my wish. There will be no Tree, no Dad, no Hess truck or toy.

Christmas died, remember?

I hate to say, there’s no end to this story. Sorry to leave you on such a sad moment. This has been the hardest post to write, ever. I hope there will be a happy ending next year. One with a huge tree, presents, and laughter! There is a point to this sad story, and thats to cherish and share what you have.

The real meaning of Christmas is to share it with loved ones. The ones you care about, the ones you trust, the people in your life who make you smile. Take a moment from your busy and crazy schedule, your hectic life, and tell them how much they are your gifts from Santa. Let them know how much they brighten your life. Don’t take opportunities like this for granted, you may not get a chance next Christmas.

Christmas is an opportunity to give the gift of a memory. One that will last longer than any gift, or toy. It’s an opportunity to share a tender, caring moment with those who truly make you smile. Whether your single, dating, engaged, married, or even alone, take a moment, just a moment, and reach out to someone you care about and give them a memory you will cherish. Something that not even Santa can give, no matter how many times you ask.

So take a moment, tell someone, anyone, you care about how much you’re a special gift from Santa. How they brighten your life. Share that joy with them! It’s better than any ring, gift card, or present.

Most importantly, Merry Christmas! Have a festive, safe holiday!