In the past two months, I’ve gone from completely dateless to juggling my calendar between upcoming singles events and dates. Why? Friends who I’ve met as SCG have referred me to other people, recommended events for me to attend, set me up on blind-dates, and have promoted me thru word of mouth (or re-tweets.) Not only do I thank my friends, I respect them dearly for their help. I respect these relationships and do my best to do right by them, as they have for me.

So how does this apply to dating? I have several friends who were great friends, and I cared about, but now tend to avoid. Most of them are female. While I think they are great and wonderful people, I often feel used by them and when hanging out, believe there’s an ulterior motive. My issue is the way they approach our friendships, some treat it as if we’re dating, others treat it like a business transaction. In both cases, there’s a tremendous amount of pressure to perform, but there aren’t any benefits. Often I feel used, guilted, and pressured to jump at a moments notice for their wishes, wants and needs. All of them are single, many unhappily. I believe their approach to friendships and other relationships have kept them single. For the women in this group, if it weren’t for their actions, I would make attempts to date them. Read the rest of this entry »