Archive for category Dating

From Rule Breaker to Girlfriend

It’s been roughly seven weeks since I’ve first met Rule Breaker, a bit longer since our first communicate. About two weeks ago, after a trip from Cleveland, I decided to take myself off of the market and cave to my feelings. I asked her to become my girlfriend, and she said yes!

A friend once told me, you’ll know to start something exclusive with a woman when you don’t care to see any other women. While dating, I went on two dates with other women; but in my mind these were clearly of the non-date date variety. These two women I had met thru friends and social circles, were attractive, but I didn’t have want or inclination to move beyond potential new friends. Read the rest of this entry »

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Rule Breaker and The Third Date

Photo by Alison Narro: www.flickr.com/people/imgoing2punchyouintheface/

The third date is a very important date. The last woman to make it to a third date was XPG, and things ended awkwardly. Rule Breaker had made it to this important part in the dating process and intuitively many decisions were going to be made. Due to the dates importance, the date itself had to carry some weight, we decided on an Italian place near her apartment. Read the rest of this entry »

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Working Without A Script

Photo by B Rosen

Rule Breaker is a woman definitely have an interest in. After our first date, I wanted to see her again, and the plan was to see her a week after the first one. At this point, I didn’t know what I was doing. All of the dating advice, rules, and tips were being stacked in an order that I could not predict or was being thrown own. I was working without a script, a plan, most of it had been thrown out. After the first date, I had every intention to call her the next day. Things didn’t happen that easily.

I got dumped into a world insane schedules and work that would eat my time like Pac-Man would power pills. The day after our date, I didn’t call, neither the day after that, or the following day. I kept on arriving home late, being exhausted from the work I was doing, having to juggle a few million other things. This wasn’t a good thing at all. It wasn’t until Saturday when I dialed her number, but she was out of town and I was reacquainted with her best friend, her voicemail. Read the rest of this entry »

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Ignoring The Rules

Photo by Jenser (Clasix-Design)I’ve previously mentioned the rules to dating are meant to be bent. When you meet a person you form a real connection with, often the rules aren’t bent, but broken regardless of the consequences. It’s never a one sided situation, either both people are breaking and bending the rules, or everything is following in their structured manner. I introduced Rule Breaker when I discussed the benefits of being persistent, but that’s not how she earned that nickname, our first date sealed the deal.

“Breaking the rules” means so many different things. First it’s the stereotypical male/female roles that we’re supposed to play while dating. While, in this situation, most of these were rules were maintained, she did break some of them. For instance, she was the one who asked for my number, how many women do this? The second type of rules that were broken are the things you’re supposed to do while dating someone, things to say, not to say, topics that should be addressed on the first date, etc. It was her upfront, honest personality that made me comfortable, as I’m an honest, upfront person. This set of rule breaks I had learned from talking to her on the phone. Read the rest of this entry »

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Persistence Gets The Date

Image Source: Vanessa Pike-Russell on Flickr

The old adage, “If you want it, you’ll fight for it,” holds a lot of weight in terms of dating. However, finding the right date involves more than just fighting, it involves being persistent, vigilant, and responsive.  I experienced this truth thru attempting to meet a recent OkCupid responder. This woman, I’m dubbing, “Rule Breaker”. The story of Rule Breaker has many parts, this is the prologue, but more importantly, it’s a demonstration of a powerful dating lesson. Be persistent. Not overbearing, persistent. Read the rest of this entry »

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Stop Thinking So Much

Image Source: NeitherFanboy on FlickrOne of my major problem of mine is thinking too much. I tend to overanalyze my dating situations to the point I think myself out of potential success. Some of this is natural; I work in an analytical field and often find myself analyzing complex problems and determining solutions. Often, I feel my work is a natural extension of who I am, I enjoy problem solving. These skills don’t translate well to the dating environment, even if you have some tools for success. Read the rest of this entry »

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Lessons I’ve Learned From Bad Sex

Image Source: AnnyMal Design on FlickrBad sex happens. Even those who claim to be “magicians” in bed, often jump over the basics that make sex wonderful. Bad sex isn’t an indicator of a bad woman, but some of the best lessons I’ve learned about women come from the many bad experiences between the sheets. That’s not to say you should sleep with a woman to determine if she’s the right one for you, but great relationships usually have great sex. There’s usually a sexual compatibility that exists with those you’re dated for a while and those you’ve wound up in relationships. I’ve found some trends with the women I’ve had horrible sexual experiences with. Read the rest of this entry »

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What’s Wrong With Me?

Image Source: Gabriela Camerotti on Flickr

“To be frank with you, I’m ridiculously surprised that your response rate has been so low.  Your cute, your profile is good…,” was the first few lines of Laurie’s response concerning my lack of success with OkCupid. Even with the increased message count, I wasn’t receiving many responses. I feel I’ve become the ultimate dating enigma.

I like OkCupid, but maybe the population on the website isn’t geared for me. Laurie suggested that I switch over to Plenty of Fish, or as I like to call it Plenty of Fail! I’m not a fan of their dating website, it’s horribly put together, ugly, and not ad deep as OkCupid. However my lack of major success on the website leaves me little alternatives. Read the rest of this entry »

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A Ride With the Wingman

Image Source: Steve Maw on Flickr

It’s not often I have a person helping me meet women at a bar, but there I was, at a bar with @URWingman Thomas Edwards while he helped me approach a group of four women. This was the third bar of the evening, the first was my home bar, the next two were places where he could see my game. While at the home bar, he prepped me for the next phase, giving me some tips and advice on the process of the evening. He wanted to see how how much game I had. I warned him this may be ugly. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Return of Ex-Party Girl

Image Source: Muhammad Ahmed on Flickr

Ever have a date return after a period of silence. It’s almost as if they feel you’re waiting around for their message when they decide to reappear. Ex-Party Girl has returned from the fade. While I was out at the club Saturday night, celebrating a birthday, XPG sends me a picture message. It was completely PG, but an inside joke that reminded her of me. A part of me believes she was holding onto it for a bit to send my way.

The situation made me wonder a moment, why did she choose now to send this message. Especially in the evening on Saturday? A part of the situation felt like a booty call. This was odd, usually I hear this sort of story from my female friends, but very rarely from the guys. Women reappearing out of thin air after weeks of silence isn’t new, but I don’t have much history with this situation. Read the rest of this entry »

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