The Girl You Like Has A Boyfriend. Now What?
You think you’ve met the perfect girl. She’s attractive, likes all of things you like, and you two really get along. Co-workers and friends think the two of you make a great couple, and should begin dating. There’s only one problem, she has a boyfriend. So, what do you do now? Most guys tend to retreat, distancing themselves from the woman as if she’s uranium. It’s a self-serving gesture. It’s like you’re saying “I want to get to know you, because I want to see you without your pants on.” The point of becoming friends with someone is because they are great people, not because they would look great, naked, in your bed.
There are other alternatives guy’s try to employ, but they often aren’t of the best ethical standing. So, if a girl you have an interest in, has a boyfriend, what should you do?
The most important thing is, to stay friends with her. I often think people are friends because there’s some form of attraction. There’s a quality that both find admirable in each other, and has developed into a friendship. The same laws of attraction apply for someone you like, but often there’s another layer when it becomes a romance. If she already has a boyfriend, that layer of romance may never develop, but that doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, or if circumstances were different, you wouldn’t have been her mate.
Don’t Take It Personal
Someone being in a relationship, rarely has anything to do with you. When you first meet a girl you like, you don’t know the rest of her life’s context. You don’t know if she is dating someone, or has been in a long-term relationship. Until that point in her life, you were never a part of the equation. Her having a boyfriend has nothing to do with you. Her relationship isn’t a referendum of how she considers you, romantically. She just happens to have another person whom she wants. Many women aren’t going to leave their relationship for a new guy, and the women that do aren’t the best one’s to seek.
Realize, She’s Not Leaving Him For You
The one thing, every guy makes the mistake of thinking, is that, given the right circumstances, she will leave who’s she’s dating for you. The problem with that train of thought, is it doesn’t take into account any of the other aspects of her life. There’s other man, just like you, waiting for her to leave her current boyfriend. You’re not top of the list, or even close. Most importantly, she’s not leaving her current boyfriend, for you. It’s not going to happen.
It’s Not A Competition
You’re romantically star-crossed, but she already has her romance. You aren’t competing for her affection, because you’ve already lost. Her affection belongs to another person. Any attempts to compare yourself to him, or to compete against him will fail. There’s nothing that you can do, to make yourself more attractive. As mentioned above, she’s not going to leave her current boyfriend, for you. Even if you saved a group of orphans from a burning building, she’ll still go home with her current boyfriend.
Consider Her As The Template
Use the girl as the template for the type of girl you would like to date. There’s many women who are single, available, and willing to date you. Plenty of them have the same combinations of qualities and traits that you find attractive in women. Rather continuing to torture yourself over the girl who is not available, find one who is completely available and like the one you want.
Photo Credit: Valerie Everett