Dating

Does Your Bank Account Matter To Women?

A woman holding a was of 20 dollar bills.

Gold Diggers exist. These are women, who are only attracted to men only for their luxury. It doesn’t matter how nice, kind, and caring you may be, if you aren’t being driven in a Mayback, you should get back. I don’t believe this type of woman is the norm. Not every woman is attracted to men for their wallets. Some recent stats challenge this position. According to the results of Match.com, “Singles In America” study, 35% of women surveyed say that a partner who makes as much money as they do, is a must have or very important trait. In comparison, only 12% of the men have indicated this as an important quality.

If you were to look at these numbers on the surface, they indicate that women are “gold diggers”, but that’s jumping very quickly to inaccurate conclusions.

To completely address this issue, I want to highlight some additional results from the survey. 40% of women strongly agree or agree somewhat, that it is acceptable to date someone who makes significantly less money then themselves, but 84% of  believe it is acceptable to date someone who makes significantly more. 92% of women would very likely or somewhat likely consider entering a committed relationship with someone who makes considerably more money, opposed to 52% of women who would consider the same relationship with someone who makes considerably less. Looking at these numbers alone, it would seem that the more money in your bank account, the more likely you’ll find a date and partner. These numbers are incomplete. While the results may be accurate, it doesn’t indicate that women are money hungry.

I want to begin with an additional stat from the survey. 63% of women surveyed are very or somewhat stressed about  the economy or other money issues. There’s some legitimacy to this stress. While more women are graduating from college than men, and are entering the professional work force, there is a significant income gap between men and women. This means, if a woman were to get fired from a high paying job, there’s a chance she won’t make as much money in her next job. Historically this situation is different from men. When you’re nervous about money, it effects your personal life. There’s a need to seek stability, especially financial stability. Dating someone who’s also broke, isn’t very stable, in fact it adds to the stress. You’re not able to enjoy dinners, movies, or outings because there’s always a financial concern hoving over the relationship.

While stress may help explain some of these high numbers, they don’t explain the differences between seeking someone in a higher income bracket. One key breakdown that’s missing from these results are the age and the income of those surveyed. I believe women who don’t make a lot of money, will always seek those who make significantly more money. A large portion of this population are people under 25 years old and college students. As one gets older, and makes more money, I believe women are more understanding of financial difficulties and flexible.

I’ve found the older a woman gets, the more mature she is about money. She doesn’t consider the short term (how much are you making right now), but looks towards the future. While you may be poor now, the question that’s always asked is, will you always be poor? From my experience, women consider your future earnings more than your current earnings if you fall between the age of 23 to 35. The closer you get towards 40, the question reverts back to “how much money are you making right now?” Being financially unstable at 40 is less attractive than being financially unstable at 2o or 30.

Lastly, there’s geography to take into account. Women in New York City are different than a woman in mid-west suburbia. Cities like New York, Miami, DC, Vegas, San Francisco, and Los Angeles are very expensive cities and money plays a significant role in a relationship. If you don’t have any money, you’re dates revolve around McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King, versus a five-star restaurant on the Upper West Side. In suburbia, where income levels tend to be more even, income isn’t that much of a factor. I believe a suburban women care less about their partners finances, than a urban city woman.

While the numbers from the Match.com survey may be correct, they don’t take into account the other aspects that could make these numbers extremely high. While it may answer the broad question, it doesn’t provide a clear yes or no. There’s circumstances and situations that must be applied. For instance, if you’re if you’re 40 and broke, your bank account matters more than being 25 and broke. If you make a lot of money, you’re often going to seek someone who makes at least as much money then you.

In order to truly answer this question, a deeper look is required.

A thank you to Match.com for providing aggregate financial data of their survey results.

Photo Credit: stevendepolo

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5 Responses

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    Allison said on February 23rd, 2011 - 7:01 pm

    No. Not at all. I’ve never dated a guy because he had money, and more often than not I date guys who probably have less money than I do. I don’t date guys for free meals.

  2. Link

    Elle Grace said on February 24th, 2011 - 7:55 am

    I think you summed it up very well with your points about how as a women gets older, she becomes wiser about money. Working in the City, I’m immersed by rich men and women out to marry them. On any given Friday night, train loads of YOUNG girls come into the city to play with the men. Luckily the older men are more wise to this but as for the younger ones, we can only sit back and watch with wonderment.

    Being a youngish woman myself, I’m always scared that I’m being perceived as a Gold Digger. I like the finer things in life but I guess the difference between myself and the girls mentioned above is that I’m prepared to work for my lifestyle rather than just try to marry into it.

    Very nice piece and very eye opening.

  3. Link

    Laura said on February 24th, 2011 - 12:07 pm

    I agree with Elle that I’m very concerned about being perceived as a gold digger, because I do enjoy the finer things and want to date someone who shares that preference. However, I would also add that one of my main reasons for not wanting to date someone who males significantly less than me is that I have worked hard to be successful financially and don’t want to date someone who did not do the same and will take advantage of ME.

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