Dating

How To Not Seem Like A Creep

There’s always a moment in a guy’s life, when he crosses  creep barrier. Out of emotion, frustration or anxiousness, a guy will say, or do something that’s over the line. It’s a learning process; we make mistakes, learn our lessons and creepy behavior is never performed again. There are some guys who never truly come out of creep-ville, and unknowingly scare women away with their behavior. What often happens is, they never see their behavior as creepy or unsettling.

You can change your creepy behavior, it requires knowing and understanding boundaries, what they are, and when to quit pursuit.

Approaching From Behind

The creepiest thing a guy can do, is approach a woman from behind. No matter how you try to get a woman’s attention, there’s no good way to approach her from the rear. This includes the guys who grind on a woman without permission; you are especially creepy. Instead do your best to come from the side or her front.

Don’t Obsess Over Her

When you find the woman of your affection, there’s no need to smother her. If she likes you, she’ll let you know. Continually chasing a woman, when she’s obviously had told you no, is a bad idea. If you meet a woman at a bar or a club, and while in conversation she turns away from you, or walks away from you; you’re allowed an re-attempt. If that attempt fails, give up, and move to the next one. It’s clear she’s no longer interested.

Give Her Some Space

Every guy makes this mistake. We see one girl, we fall for her and want to stick close to her like glue. We keep buying her drinks, following her around the club, and start conversations, only ending up without any forward progress. Instead, what we’re doing is encroaching on her space, and turning into a stalker. You don’t need to escort a woman to the bar, rest room, or anywhere else, unless she asks you. Like the obsess rule, know when to quit. Give her some space, and walk away.

Don’t Touch Unless You’re Allowed

Don’t touch a woman, unless there’s an opening. This rule is a bit hard, often a woman hints when you’re allowed to touch her. If your flirting with a woman and she brushes against you, and you reciprocate, touching is allowed. If you touch her knee or hand and don’t linger and she reciprocates, you’re also in the clear. Creepiness sets in when you rest a hand on her shoulder and never let go, or touch her back for a long period, without her permission Unless it’s indicated, no inappropriate touching. Feel free to test the waters by a quick touch here and there, but keep it brief.

Interrupting Conversations You’re Not A Part Of

Everyone wants to share their opinion, but sharing doesn’t mean interrupting a conversation you’re not a part of. Feel free to join a conversation circle, but listen before engaging. Don’t enter a group conversation with your own opinion, without introducing yourself first. Most importantly, don’t interrupt a conversation between two girls; often you seem more like a creep, then you do a source of attention.

There many other ways guys come off as creeps. This is only a small sliver of common creepy behavior while at a bar, club or on a date. In order to truly not become a creep is to know where the boundaries exist. That takes some trial and error.

Ps. Don’t follow any of the advice from the Lonely Island video at the beginning of this blog post. It’s just creepy.

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5 Responses

  1. Link

    PYT said on February 8th, 2011 - 10:46 am

    Great post…I know quite a few men who could benefit from this.

  2. Link

    Kim said on February 8th, 2011 - 11:30 am

    LOVE this! My retweet of this post has gotten so many female replies, this needs to be posted in every bar and club in NYC! :)

  3. Link

    Elle Grace said on February 9th, 2011 - 7:18 am

    I also want to email this to all my male friends! Very well said! x

  4. Link

    Willow said on November 17th, 2013 - 11:56 pm

    I would like to add, if it’s dark and you’re in a parking lot, and you parked very close to a woman’s car, and you see her through your mirror approaching, don’t sit there and wait for her, especially when she had to walk over from the adjacent parking lot over a curb to get there while you were sitting there. That’s very creepy behavior.

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