Single City Guy

A week ago, I had the opportunity to interview Larry Wilson, the founder of Opposites Connect, a new online dating website with a very different approach to dating; finding your opposites. To many, the idea may seem counter intuitive, why would you seek the opposite of what you want? If you like cats, why would you search for someone who likes dogs? If your a Yankees fan, why would you ever data a Red Sox fan? The answer, it brings upon interesting conversation.

Larry referenced a recent post (Determine What You Can Handle While Dating), to help explain the concept. “Dating is built on conflict resolution,” he suggested, and further explained several problems with current dating websites. When you go on a date, conversation becomes a repetition of what is already known, and doesn’t lead to real conversation. Essentially the first date (or first meet-up) is a repetition of viewing their online profile. As Larry put it, “all we have found out was what we already know!”

Opposites Connect works differently, in the sense it works with people differences. If you and someone you like enjoy music, the focus becomes the differences in the types of music you like. She may be a Hip-Hop person, you may be a Hard Rock. There are three methods to connect with other daters on the website: personality tests, your preferences, and quizzes. Each connection is based on the differences rather than the similarities.

Personality tests have become a standard in determining compatibility between two people. For Opposites Connect, the same method is applied, but for different results. Having consulted with three well known female psychotherapists and dating coaches, Opposites Connect has created relationship dichotomies that will work well with each other. Here it’s more about how your differences in personality mesh. The matching is reasonable, you will be fitted with qualities that can fit yours, not qualities that are completely incompatible.

On any dating website you find meet other people based on your preferences, such as sports, music, and movies. On Opposites Connect the same premise exists, but thru a different lens. Preferences are turned into rooms, for example if you’re a baseball fan and your favorite team are the Yankees, there would be a Yankee room for you to join. Attached to this room would be a rival room (in this example a Red Sox room). Unlike most dating websites, Opposites Connect creates a running debate, or threaded like conversation between the two rooms. Here, Yankees and Red Sox fans can debate on which team is best; conversations I’m sure will become very heated (Yanks rule by the way!)

Along with the rooms will be weekly light hearted polls, where your answers will be compared with other answers. Here you can see who has answered similarly, but the highlights would be those who have answered differently. As Larry explained to me, by highlighting those who have answered differently, it raises a curiosity factor. You may want to know why a person answered a question differently, and it may spark a conversation that leads to a series of dates.

Another way to connect with others are thru quizzes. Opposites Connect will feature two types of quizzes; one long form mortality quizzes, another a series of lightning round questions. These quizzes help determine your opposite factor. While quizzing isn’t new (see OkCupid, which is based on quizzes), the approach is a bit different. The long form mortality questions are purely subjective, there isn’t a right or wrong answer, but they will help determine how you differer from other people. On the other hand, the lighting round questions are simple, fun questions to answer questions that will provide some insight into your differences with others. Here there isn’t a base test or right or wrong answer, but merely an understanding of your preferences.

I can’t help but to like the idea of Opposites Connect, as it seems to mesh instinctually with one of the core tenants of my dating advice; find someone different. The reasons Rule Breaker and I get along so well isn’t because we’re a perfect match, it’s because while we like the same things, there are differences in what we enjoy. We are all attracted to our opposites, there’s something new, interesting and exciting about them. I like this direction of trying to meet someone new, not because we like the same things, but have differences about the same topics we like.

Opposites Connect, will be opening their doors on Friday, May 28th, 2010. While the website will be free, if you sign up before June 21st, 2010 you will be eligible for a free access to the future premium websites features.