Exploring Category For

February, 2010

Dating

Men Feel They Must Be In Control

Working the control panel

We men have the need to feel as if we’re in control of any situation. It’s what we’re taught when we’re young, it’s how we’re raised, it’s what society tells us. We are reminded, often, we are to take the lead. When a situation arises, it feels as if it’s a guys duty to ensure all is under control. We’re taught to take the lead, and it’s something we believe women expect. In many cases they expect the same as well. Women expect us to ask them out on a date, they expect us to pay for the first date, they expect us to make the move. The pressure, assertiveness and control is very much in our court.

The post-feminist modern women has a very different outlook on this scenario. They want to be in control (having been controlled for so long), they want a piece of this power that men have had for centuries. They want their say. This causes plenty of conflicts for many reasons, first control isn’t always about decision making and second, women want us to be in control, they want a man. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Working Without A Script

Walking towards the next chapter

Rule Breaker is a woman definitely have an interest in. After our first date, I wanted to see her again, and the plan was to see her a week after the first one. At this point, I didn’t know what I was doing. All of the dating advice, rules, and tips were being stacked in an order that I could not predict or was being thrown own. I was working without a script, a plan, most of it had been thrown out. After the first date, I had every intention to call her the next day. Things didn’t happen that easily.

I got dumped into a world insane schedules and work that would eat my time like Pac-Man would power pills. The day after our date, I didn’t call, neither the day after that, or the following day. I kept on arriving home late, being exhausted from the work I was doing, having to juggle a few million other things. This wasn’t a good thing at all. It wasn’t until Saturday when I dialed her number, but she was out of town and I was reacquainted with her best friend, her voicemail. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Be A Man, MAN!

The Centrale Montemartini, man (torso)

Here’s a reminder to the guys out there, step up and be a man, MAN! Women aren’t very attracted to the emo, shiny, Twilight, vampire, boys who chase after them. They want MEN! They want guys who acts like a man, treats situations like a man, is decisive like a man, and who isn’t sharing their cosmetics! So, put down the glitter and makeup, stow the fragrances aside and MAN UP!

This is often easier to say than do, we all forget this little fact. I forgot about acting as a man in a recent situation when my friend, @aussieinthecity, reminded me to man up. It’s not that I don’t act like a guy, or act manly, but when it comes to dating I find myself making some very non-man like decisions. I become too afraid of saying something wrong, or acting like an asshole. Instead of acting, I begin to over think, and every decision becomes another question. It would seem as if someone else had taken my balls and placed them on a mantle for me to stare at. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Exploring How Dating Differs In Other Cities

Waiting for a flight, at an airport

Each city is unique onto themselves. I’m born and raised in NYC and can only talk about the dating scene here, which is quite different from the scene in D.C. or Miami. Every resident of their city knows the quirks of their cities dating life. In NYC, everything seems to be very fast paced, and leads to instant gratification. It may differ from Vegas where everyone seems to want gratification. Very soon, we will have a first hand account of these differences as dating blogger @SingleGalNYC is embarking on an eight week dating tour. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Ignoring The Rules

Broken smiling mugI’ve previously mentioned the rules to dating are meant to be bent. When you meet a person you form a real connection with, often the rules aren’t bent, but broken regardless of the consequences. It’s never a one sided situation, either both people are breaking and bending the rules, or everything is following in their structured manner. I introduced Rule Breaker when I discussed the benefits of being persistent, but that’s not how she earned that nickname, our first date sealed the deal.

“Breaking the rules” means so many different things. First it’s the stereotypical male/female roles that we’re supposed to play while dating. While, in this situation, most of these were rules were maintained, she did break some of them. For instance, she was the one who asked for my number, how many women do this? The second type of rules that were broken are the things you’re supposed to do while dating someone, things to say, not to say, topics that should be addressed on the first date, etc. It was her upfront, honest personality that made me comfortable, as I’m an honest, upfront person. This set of rule breaks I had learned from talking to her on the phone. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

How To Survive A Singles Valentine’s Day

A heart ready for the shredder

Valentine’s Day is one of the most loved and hated days in the year. While it’s an opportunity for couples to express their like (or love) for one another, many people despise the day and the idea. I’ve never hated Valentine’s Day, because I feel you don’t have to be with someone to enjoy the day. Hell, there are plenty of ways to survive Valentine’s Day by remaining completely single.

To begin surviving Valentine’s Day, you must not be bitter. Valentine’s Day is like any other day. Say for instance, your friends wedding anniversary happens to be on the 8th of April. Are you going to be bitter to your friend because they are going to celebrate their anniversary every year on the same day? Taken Valentine’s Day in the same light, some people are going to celebrate it with their significant other. Instead of being bitter, aim for a day that you’re doing the same thing with someone you like. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Updates

Win A Pair of Dockers By Showing Chivalry Is Not Dead

Dockers Pants, Caramel RedDockers Pants, Soft Khaki Carmel

I love Dockers pants, and they have been a fixture my wardrobe for as long as I can remember. So when I was approached with the opportunity to give away 5 pairs of Dockers Soft Khakis this Valentine’s Day, I jumped at it.

If you haven’t seen the “Dockers Men Without Pants” commercial from this year’s SuperBowl, take a moment and watch it (it’s at the end of this post, past the jump). It’s about men stepping up and wearing the pants, even though they weren’t! This Valentine’s Day, you have the chance to prove men ARE wearing the pants and that Chivalry Is Not Dead (#chivalryisnotdead)! To do this, post a comment on this post, or send me a tweet (@singlecityguy) about what you did (or for women, what a guy did for you) on Valentine’s Day, past or present. This can be anything, from making a great mixtape (hint), to a surprise romantic weekend get-away.

You have until Noon EST on Friday, February 19th, where I will then select 5 winners at random to receive a free pair of Soft Khakis (either in classic khaki or red).

Good luck guys, and show women that chivalry isn’t dead at all! [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Making A Great Valentines Day Playlist

A heart made from a cassette mix tape

When I was younger, making a mixtape was one of the best gifts to give a girl on Valentine’s Day. It was thoughtful, required timing, creativity, and hours of planning. Days were spent waiting for a particular song to play on the radio to add it in your “perfect” collection of music. Today’s world of iTunes and pre-made Valentine’s Day Playlists has diluted the art of a “mixtape.” I believe it’s a great Valentine’s Day gift, if done right. It requires some thought, effort, and a willingness to be a bit cheesy. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Answering The Frisky's 50 Questions For Men

Popular blog, The Frisky, covered a survey launched by Esquire for the American Woman. For every woman who answers the survey, Esquire would donate $1 to the Haiti Relief Fund. In turn, The Frisky created their own 50 questions for men they would answers from ASAP. I figured, I would thrown my own answers to their questions, although some of them are purely foolish. [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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Dating

Date Ideas That Don't Involve Drinks

The Manhattan Bridge at night

I have nothing against alcohol at all! Like most men, I enjoy beer when I can, however dates that involve consistent trips to the bar can be repetitive. While they are great for introductory dates and getting to know one another, at some point, you need to move beyond the bar. There are plenty of really good date ideas that aren’t centered around alcohol, that can be  very intimate and inexpensive. Here’s a few that I enjoy: [Read The Rest Of This Entry]

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