Dating

Indecisive Girl, Part 2 – The Conclusion

Stop sign and red traffic lightI ended my post about Indecisive Girl ominously. I was sure I would see her again, and I did. When I first talked about her, many of the comments from the readers were spot on. I was attracted to her because she was unattainable. I was willing to take the abuse she would hand out at the hope it would turn into a relationship.

By the time I had written the post, I was well over her, although there was an outside hope that she would realize how great of a guy I was. There’s only so much torture a guy can go through before he gets the message and moves on. I had been through enough. The problem is she’s a part of a larger group of friends who I usually hangout during New Years. I didn’t want to ignore my friends because of what ever issues we were having.

For New Years, I had the choice of a house party or hanging out with this group of friends. I had to choose this group, mainly because it’s turned into a New Year’s Eve tradition. A group of people come from out of state, I come from Brooklyn, and we have a party at an apartment. When they heard I may not make it, they began to inundate me with text messages until I promised I’ll come. Peer pressure still works at 28. Indecisive Girl wasn’t available for the celebration, she was on a date. I was initially shocked by the news, it wasn’t a stinging emotional burn. Pretty much, any answer I wanted was hand delivered to me with that message. I found myself oddly relieved she wasn’t there, not out of anger or vengeance. I felt that perhaps I would be able to enjoy my time with these friends instead of having the shadow of the drama between us hover over us.

The party started at the designated apartment (which Indecisive Girl lived at with her roommate, who invited me), then at a few near by bars, then back at the apartment. When we arrived, Indecisive Girl was there with her new date. The group (about six of us) had just interrupted their make out session. My initial thought was “whoops!” Honestly, I wasn’t phased. I’ve been hanging out with friends, enjoying their company, letting life go on as usual! She did have this look on her face when she saw me. It was the same look usually seen in soap opera’s when there’s two lovers fighting over one person. Only in this case, I’ve stopped fighting, gave up to the reality of the situation a while ago and have moved on.

We all said hello to her and her beau, and began playing the nights second round of Kings. A game the beau kept on interrupting to make a point or to listen to the sound of his own voice. At first I thought I was nitpicking, maybe deep down inside I was jealous. However his need to cut people off to make an insignificant point, to seem important, and demonstrate himself as the wealth of knowledge, matched with his cocky attitude had worn on me. This guy was a douche. I gave one of the other guys in the room a look and we had a male mind-share moment (those happen), and came back with the same conclusion, we didn’t like him. At one point I wanted to duck-tape his mouth, because he was just that annoying!

It was roughly 6:30 am when I couldn’t take any more of his buffoonery. I would have stayed longer and awake until all hours of the evening, but listening to this guy talk was like pushing needles into my forehead. Either he was going to shut up (not likely) or I was going to leave. A quick trip to the bathroom, slipping my jacket on, and I was out the door in 15 minutes.

I decided to take a moment and walk over the Brooklyn Bridge, it was near sunrise and it would make for a wonderful cap to an interesting day. It also gave me time to reflect on life’s irony. I had just finished writing a post about this woman and now she has found someone to date, who wasn’t me. Maybe she isn’t Indecisive Girl, but “Not For You Girl.” While there was a twinge of anger, it wasn’t directed at her, or at her current situation, but because she was never truly honest with me. She kept leading me on, giving promise that I, someday, could date her. Clearly I was a sap and falling for some sort of attention trap. The truth was, she never really told me why she couldn’t date me, she just wasn’t attracted to me. Her excuses were empty hopes disguised as rejection. Instead of stringing me along, she should have said something upfront.

I should have also been smarter not to fall into this trap either.

Photo Credit: Alexander Kruel on Flickr

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5 Responses

  1. Link

    nicole said on January 6th, 2010 - 3:04 pm

    Why do men even bother with girls like this when there are so many normal ones available? This girl is seriously selfish and completely inconsiderate. I can’t believe she actually asked you to leave once? Grrr……rude, rude, rude!
    Glad you were still able to have fun. Just think, she missed out on you and ended up with the Douche bag. Karma….it’s a bitch.

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      Single City Guy said on January 6th, 2010 - 4:50 pm

      You’re right, Karma is a bitch! Now if you can tell me where these normal girls are, I will date them in a heartbeat!

  2. Link

    nicole said on January 7th, 2010 - 3:39 am

    I’m convinced that ‘decent men’ are never attracted to these ‘normal girls’. It would make the universe far too easy to navigate.

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    Dating Diva said on January 7th, 2010 - 9:49 am

    Don’t blame yourself because we all have been there. We all believe sometimes that we are the exception to the rule, but we are always the rule. Knowing this has helped me stop pursuing/dating a lot of guys fast. I would say I have avoided more heartbreak than I have actually had because of it.

    There’s a girl out there for you. Don’t give up hope. :)

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    wingman said on January 7th, 2010 - 2:04 pm

    I’m glad you’ve moved on, bro. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. We all fall into those moments when it actuality she’s not into you but likes the attention you give her.

    But now that you have this experience in written format, you can have a better sense of when this goes on, because it will happen again.

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