Honk Her Boob On The Third Date (and other bad advice)

Reaching out for a woman's boobs

My new year started with a great set of dating advice, while a funk band played in the background at Brooklyn Bowl. “You know she’s worth the time if honking her boob makes her laugh after a few dates,” my friend said.

“So, do you just reach out and honk it?” I replied.

“You should have at least made it to second base before you do.”

“So date two, touch a boob. Date three, honk it! Gotcha!”

If you follow this bit of advice and have found yourself the recipient of a slap, punch, uncontrollable screaming, or currently in jail, you’ve clearly missed the sarcasm. Do not honk a girls boob on the third date. Don’t do it on the fifth date! This bit of “advice” does remind me of the really bad advice guys are generally given and repeat consistently to meet girls. Not to burst your bubble, but porn, and American Pie isn’t the best source of dating advice.

On Leftos, there’s this great post about the things guys have learned from mainstream porn. Read, laugh, and move on. Other bad advice includes the need to show off their parts to women and have half naked profiles on dating websites. None of this attracts a woman. Guys are the ones who look at a girls boobs and want to date her, women don’t look at our junk and want to take us home. More of the common bad advice comes from The Game and pick up artists. Nothing against the scene, what they do seems to work, but you don’t have to wear silly hats and goggles to get a date. You’ll meet women, but not quality women.

Most of my dating successes have come when I was acting as myself, one date (XPG) told me she went out with me because I was the most sane response she received. Women laugh at the guys who send them naked pictures when they’ve just met them. Smart, intelligent women joke at the games that pick up artists use to lure women. In the sea of bad advice, guys are given some of the worse, because it piles on top of the existing bad advice we’re already have.

What lures women is confidence and the type of person we are. The more confident you are, the better your chances.

Photo Credit: Rubbertoe on Flickr

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    Mikael said on January 4th, 2010 - 11:02 am

    You are so right about confidence… Definitely one of the best ways to draw in a woman. Haha, never heard of honking a boob before and I’m very glad no one’s ever done it to me.

    And yes, they would be bitch-slapped so fast if they tried it… ever :P Maybe when marriage is in the cards?

    Funny post!

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    maruskamorena said on January 4th, 2010 - 7:39 pm

    LOL.. Honking.. I’ve had that done. I’d say I put the fear of God into them, but more likely it was the fear that I was God and about to smite them. :) It was a relationship ender.

    Confidence … yes is a good thing, but a lot of guys misunderstand what confidence is. They think its aggressive or arrogant or bragging.. its actually just being comfortable in your own skin, and not swayed by whatever is going on. Doing your own thing.

    Oh, and I wouldn’t say that “women don’t look at our junk and want to take us home.” … secretly we women do look at some men’s junk and want to take it home. Unfortunately, that often means just once and we’re no longer considering you a viable candidate for anything else.

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    Miss Alpha said on January 4th, 2010 - 9:21 pm

    Any sort of premature spanking or grabbing is all in the execution. Just like with anything, you have to know your audience and some girls are more playful than others.

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    Dating Diva said on January 5th, 2010 - 8:25 am

    lol, I wrote an entire blog post about guys and their half nekkid pictures on dating sites and how it is always good for a laugh. I even broke down the types of naked pics I tend to see.

    Honking a boob is bad, but honking a boob while in bed? Even worse. And yes, it has happened to me. :/


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