With today being New Year’s Eve, I’m reminded of my continuous New Year’s dating story. It starts well before New Years, during football season several years ago. I was at a sports bar in midtown and met a group of people, all from Boston who lives in NYC. It was comprised of two girls, both roommates, one guy. We engaged in conversation and one of the girls (Indecisive Girl) demonstrated her interest. The other girl was taken by a foreign guy. I couldn’t quite figure out the dynamics here, there was something weird abut this group. Shortly everything became clear. The guy and the girl with the foreign guy were related and the guy was Indecisive Girls’s ex-boyfriend. Oy.
Her feelings for him weren’t made clear until the cab ride to their place. She was kissing him, giving me a clear sign she still had some feeling for him. It changed when we got to their place, she took every opportunity to get close to me, even hopping into my lap. We also began to kiss. The night ended, I went back home, and called Indecisive Girl the next day. I promised her a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge and wanted to deliver, but she never returned my call. It was left unanswered for some time.
I got a text from the group to hang out for New Year’s Eve. It was an invitation I gladly accepted! I was New Year party hopping anyway, I went to a house party before meeting them at a bar near NYU. At the bar, I caught up with Indecisive Girl, when there told me we should just “be friends.” Something I’m comfortable with, they were a great group to hang around. However, I wish that was the end of the story.
I would often meet up with the group for planned events, usually surrounding holiday’s. At every event, Indecisive Girl suddenly wanted my attention and would do her best to press herself against me, but then pull away. I would hang with them for New Years, where I would see the group and the same thing would happen. It would seem as if we have the same discussion, one she usually initiates. It begins with her telling me how much she likes me, how good of a guy I am, why I shouldn’t like her, and how we should be friends. A part of me feels jerked around here. I would tell her my point of view (“I thought we were just friends”, “if you like me lets try it out”, “I’m feeling jerked around here”) and that I’m not going to withstand it for much longer.
The next time I caught up with them was a random bar outing. While drinks were hand, Indecisive Girl ended wrapping her arm around me, and we began to cuddle. We ended kissing throughout the evening. We were barhopping until we ended at a random bar where we bumped into her first ex-boyfriend from high school. A person who she hasn’t seen since the end of her high school graduation, many moons ago. She seemed to bounce between the two of us, and I felt a strange sense of deja-vu coming.
There was a point where everyone left, and I was with Indecisive Girl, her H.S. ex-boyfriend, and the rest of his group. He pulled me aside and explained to me two things: he has a girlfriend and happy with her, and he’s not trying to pursue anything with Indecisive Girl. Obviously she didn’t get the message. After another conversation, another bar, and her explaining why she’s the wrong girl for me, she tells me “you should go.”
“Why?” I respond.
“Because you’re going to see something you may not like.”
I knew what she meant. She was going to pursue her uninterested ex from High School, and was willing to embarrass me. I didn’t stay for the finality, but I finally got the message, she’s not the one and not trying to be the one.
This woman is like a drug, and for some odd reason I’m strangely attracted to her. Every New Year I end up seeing her and enjoying some time with her. Every New Year, I expect a different result. Thus, the definition of insanity. I think this year I’m going to try something different and see how that works out. Starting off the year fresh couldn’t hurt.
Anyway, I know I’m going to see Indecisive Girl again, soon.
Photo Credit: Frederic Poirot on Flickr