Single City Guy

“…I’ve also been told that I’m intimidating because of my confidence on more than one occasion. Apparently, that was the reason I was never asked to my high school prom. I thought confidence was a turn-on. *scratches head* Is it true that it can be an intimidating factor as well?” Mikael comment on “Are Men Intimidated By Women, Preventing Us From Asking Her Out?”

I love dating confident women! They seem to have a certain wit, humor and attitude that I enjoy. Confidence in a woman is a sexy thing, sexier than any lingerie (well close to it). Most men are attracted to confident women. The only time confidence turns into intimidation is if that confidence morphs into arrogance and over aggressiveness.

An arrogant woman makes her seem picky, entitled and childish. The “I’m better than you” mentality is never an attractive trait. An over aggressive woman is damn right scary. Most men are turned off my over aggressive women, i.e. pinning a guy against a wall because you want him. In both instances you’re challenging the male character, the things that make a guy, a guy. It is scary to be faced with that sort of challenge from another guy, let alone a woman.

In most cases, guys in high school are scared of acne as much as they are women, I’m not going to put much stock in you not having a high school prom date or being told that your confidence is intimidating. It what we often tell confident, attractive women, mainly because you’re rare. As I’ve mentioned before, guys are more likely scared of approaching you because we are more likely to get shot down by a woman like yourself. It’s the fear of rejection from a woman like yourself that may put men at a standstill from asking you out.

As a confident woman, you have to play an additional role, and that’s approaching men. You’re less likely to be approached by men. If an attractive woman approaches any guy, they may be a bit scared, but they will appreciate the gesture. They will not run away from you, screaming “Godzilla!!!” We know you’re not approaching us to to destroy our city or eat our wives and kids. Some men may not be able to handle the situation (there was a time I could not), but most men will.

Most of the guys who say that you’re intimidating, may also be scared of the dark. Don’t put much stock into what they say. You’re not a scary woman! Chances are, if you’re not an arrogant, aggressive woman, you’re going to have to show men that you’re interesting in them. That’s by making the first approach.

Photo Credit: katie weilbacher on Flickr