Single City Guy

Last week, in a city that I’m not familiar with, I and a co-worker went to a club. Throughout the week he was the only person I had known and we’re both just as familiar with this foreign city. I figured he would be a perfect wingman as he has a relationship and I’m the single guy, this was not the case. While I enjoy my co-worker’s company out on the town, he’s a horrible wingman, seeking attention for himself and not spreading the wealth. Clearly he has not read the Wingman Code of Ethics.

I will note, my co-worker has a much better flow when it comes to introducing himself. There’s a swagger that surrounds him and it seems natural for him, while it’s very forced for me. He is the perfect wingman, able to get attention, draw in a crowd, meet women. I work very differently and find myself having to compete for attention when around him. The night we’re out at a club, we get into the VIP section, mainly because of his wheeling and dealing. It’s one of the reasons I like having him around. However, it’s clear he’s looking out for himself, not approaching any women I would like, seeking those he likes , only doing it in a one-on-one approach. It was time I maned up and did. Soon I’ve lured a group of attractive women and began talking to them. My wingman took this approach as an opportunity to try and go after the same girl I was after, but in the end I managed to get her number. Twenty minutes later, I get a text from her inviting me to a diner for some early breakfast food.

At the diner, my wingman continued to look after himself, trying to pry her attention from me, instead of securing her friend. he was in clear violation of rules 2 and 4 of the dating Bro Code! Even though the lines of attraction were clear, my wingman tried to interject himself into the conversation. He even admitted this after they left, if they were going to the same place he would “hit it,” knowing full well what I’m trying to do. He was adamant about getting her number, which I already had. My wingman wasn’t playing by the rules at all, instead he was greedy and forced me to do all of the heavy lifting, and still wanted the credit.

Your job as a wingman is to help your bro out. Sometimes your designated as the wingman, other times it’s automatic. If you’re out with a friend and you have a significant other, you’re automatically the wingman. You can’t give up your wingman responsibilities in the middle of the job. @AnalyticalDiva pointed me to a story she recently wrote about her two girlfriends, one assumed the wingwoman responsibility but then went after the prize herself. Unlike my case, where the wingman was only being greedy, this wingwoman cockblocked and possibly ruined opportunities with her girl. In both these cases, the wing-person was being greedy, seeking only their needs and letting their ego get the best of them. In both cases the wing-person was irresponsible. If they were driving a car, they would have crashed into a ditch and killed their passengers (maybe not as that dramatic, but you get the point.) Potential wingmen and women need to remember one thing, you are there until the job gets done!

(Image Credit: digitalfilmmaker on Flickr)